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For months, the crypto cognoscenti have bickered like schoolboys over a marbles tournament, debating the likelihood of an altseason. Some, with the optimism of a first-time investor, declared it an impossibility, citing the bloated volumes of altcoins over the past four years. Others, more cunning or perhaps merely more deluded, insisted on a selective renaissance, predicated on the trifecta of community, market capitalization, and utility. A delightful farce, no doubt, but one that Egrag Crypto now claims to have resolved with the precision of a Swiss watchmaker.

In what can only be described as an epistle of anxiety, Apple proclaimed that they have come into contact with reports of an “extremely sophisticated” assault. One must chuckle with incredulity at the idea of a “sophisticated” attack when we consider the simple complexity of human existence. Yet, in true Apple fashion, they implore their users-like a mother hen urging her chicks to heed the rain-to install the latest iOS, iPadOS, and macOS patches without delay. It seems the worm at the core of our beloved devices has been festering, described as nothing less than an out-of-bounds write, fixed-if one could believe such as being possible-with refined bounds checking. A malicious image file, it appears, can cause our devices to become as confused as a cat in a dog park, leading to severe memory corruption.

Perish not, for the esteemed asset management firm Vaneck has unveiled its “Mid-August 2025 Bitcoin Chaincheck”-fragments of wisdom scribed by Patrick Bush, the venerable analyst of digital antiquities, and Matthew Sigel, who stands as head of digital assets research.

Gold had centuries to preen in its gilded cage. The dollar, a mere century to strut its stuff. And yet, Bitcoin, the enfant terrible of currency, is staging the same coup in under two decades. Bravo! 👏

In the past 24 hours, Ethena’s [ENA] price action has been nothing short of a theatrical performance, with liquidity across both on-chain and off-chain markets bursting forth like a well-timed punchline in a comedy. 🎭

But the plot thickens! Hours ago, our hero sent 300 BTC ($34.9 million) to Hyperliquid, only to transmute it into ETH. His spot stash now stands at 122,226 ETH, purchased at $4,377, already basking in $42 million of paper profits. Is this the dawn of Ethereum’s ascendancy? Or merely a whale’s whimsical fancy? 🧐

Imagine a scene where the platform, in a fit of generosity or perhaps greed (take your pick), coughs up $6.37 million in fees within a single day and then proceeds to buy 140,000 tokens-more than the population of some small towns-resulting in a 21% surge in buyback volume. Truly, this is the kind of demand-driven magic tricks that keep prices from plummeting into the abyss, much to the delight of long-term holders who dream of never selling. Or at least, that’s what they tell themselves while sipping on their coffee. ☕👌

Indeed, the memecoins have outstripped their crypto brethren, with our dear friend Pudgy Penguins [PENGU] jumping more than 15% in the blink of an eye! It led the memecoin race like an eager runner at the starting pistol. 🎉

Old Binance Coin (BNB), the plucky blighter, has popped up by 4.82% in the last 24 hours. Not too shabby, what? 🎉📊

Ethereum’s been getting a lot of love lately, thanks to a steady stream of ETF inflows. And let’s not forget the buzz around Solana and XRP-ETF speculation is like the gossip at a high school dance, making these tokens even more appealing. 🤫 If the stars align, we might just see a full-blown rally across the board. Who knows? Maybe it’s time to dust off your party hats! 🎩