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Key Takeaways:

When geopolitics gets as intense as a season finale of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” presidents start looking at odd tech to beat cyber‑villains. Bitcoin, the kid that was once only an online currency champ, is now the go‑to playground for its underlying now‑fancy architecture. Senior U.S. military brass finally spilled the beans that experiments are already in motion-no mining, just a lot of “how the heck does this work?” notes.

On-chain activity is buzzing! Or at least, it’s marginally less boring. 86 billion SHIB tokens vanished from exchanges in a day, which CryptoQuant-style metrics call a “significant negative netflow.” (-108 Billion range! Alarming, if you like commas.) This means people are moving tokens to wallets, not selling them. Revolutionary. Maybe they’re just hiding their shame.

Apparently, Schiff’s got a bone to pick with STRC. He’s like, “This thing’s a Ponzi, folks. It’s not even trying to hide it.” And then he takes a swing at Michael Saylor, saying he cooked up STRC because Bitcoin’s hype train was running out of steam. Classic Larry David energy: “Oh, you’re promoting this? Yeah, that’s not suspicious at all.”

This filing, submitted on Thursday, marks Defiance’s latest thematic endeavor. Instead of chasing the AI hype, the fund adopts a contrarian approach, targeting old-economy businesses, whose very existence seems immune to the encroachments of artificial intelligence. One might wonder if the creators of this ETF have considered that perhaps AI, in its boundless ingenuity, might yet find a way to automate even the most steadfast of heavy-asset enterprises.

Il semblerait que notre cher Président Donald Trump ait de nouveau décidé d’organiser une soirée crypto, le 25 avril, dans son charmant club Mar-a-Lago en Floride, mais seulement pour les plus riches acheteurs de son mémecoin adoré, le $TRUMP.

The Plot Thickens (Like a Bad Sitcom):

Bitcoin is languishing below its Fibonacci target zone like a toddler who forgot where the playground is. Nothing has broken down. The top has not been confirmed either. How thrilling.

The White House, in a fit of dramatic flair, has pointed its bony finger at China, accusing them of pilfering American AI secrets. “Industrial-scale campaigns to distil US frontier AI systems,” they squawked, as if China were sneaking into the kitchen to steal the last slice of cake. Tsk, tsk.

According to Galaxy Research’s Alex Thorn, the Bitcoin ecosystem is now a high-stakes game of “Who Can Buy More Coins?” Strategy just dropped 34,000 BTC in a week, bringing their total to 815,061. IBIT? A mere 806,178. It’s like a crypto version of “I had a dream where I was richer than you.”