Cryptonews

According to the May 11 press release, which read like a script for a farce, Capital B issued 23 million shares with attached warrants at €0.66 per ABSA, a figure as precise as a guess in a fog. The offering, reserved for institutional investors across the U.S., Europe, and “other jurisdictions” (read: places where the legal advice was slightly hand-wavy), was subscribed by global investors. Maxim Group, ever the eager footman, acted as lead placement agent, while Marex, with the enthusiasm of a dog with a bone, served as co-manager.

Crypto.com, the first among equals, stands tall as the chosen one. “Exclusive,” they whisper, as if exclusivity were not the very essence of absurdity in a land of plenty. Emirates Airlines and Dubai Duty Free, those bastions of commerce, await their turn to embrace this digital chimera. Imagine, dear reader, paying for your camel rides and duty-free trinkets with the very essence of modern madness-cryptocurrency! What a spectacle!

Galaxy Digital, with all the confidence of a riverboat gambler, reckons that if these Democrats give their nod, the bill might just waltz onto the Senate floor. Might as well, might not-that’s politics for you.

Tokenized Gold Trading Volume Surpasses 2025 Total in Q1 In the first three months of 2026, trading of digital gold tokens reached $90.7 billion, exceeding the total amount traded in all of 2025, which was $84.6 billion, according to CoinGecko. PAX Gold and Tether Gold remain the most popular options, showing increased investor interest in … Read more

The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC), those noble guardians of the people’s pennies, have swooped in like vultures to pick at the remains. They’ve handed the reins to Anchor Bank of Palm Beach Gardens, a Florida titan with pockets deep enough to swallow the wreckage. “Fear not, dear depositors,” they coo, “your money is safe-for now.”

This marks a sharper incline from 46% at the commencement of May, a rise so audacious it might rival the boldness of a gentleman proposing marriage to a lady of modest fortune. The increase occurs mere days ere a pivotal Senate Banking Committee markup, an event surely destined to be recounted in future parlors with equal parts gossip and glee.

According to Bloomberg, which seems to have a penchant for gossip, Andreessen Horowitz’s crypto division will spearhead this round, aiming for $300 million-though the figures may yet shift like sand in a desert. The deal, if sealed, would be a testament to the enduring allure of blockchain, even as the broader crypto market slumbers in a state of semi-consciousness.

Foundry, AntPool, F2Pool, SpiderPool, MARA Pool, Block Inc, and DMND-names that strike fear into the hearts of the uninitiated-have joined the Stratum V2 working group. A truly historic moment, announced with great fanfare last week.

After finding “support” near $79,200-a term that here means “nobody blinked first”-Bitcoin surged, as if propelled by the sheer will of bovine enthusiasts chanting “moar, moar, moar.” Resistance levels at $79,750 and $80,200 crumbled like a poorly timed soufflé.

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