In a world where cash is king but crypto is the court jester, Mastercard (MA) is eyeing Zero Hash like a prospector eyes a nugget. The card giant is deep in talks to snatch the blockchain whiz for a cool $1.5 to $2 billion, Fortune blabs, citing whispers from the know-it-alls. Seems Mastercard’s got a chip on its shoulder after Coinbase swooped in on BVNK, leaving them in the dust. 🏎️💨
Word from the CryptoQuant campfire is that Evernorth’s XRP stash is nigh on $1 billion, a figure that’s got the bigwigs tipping their hats in respect. JA Maartunn, the town’s sharpest number-cruncher, reckons Evernorth’s saddlebags are bursting with 388,710,606.03 XRP, just a stone’s throw from their billion-dollar bonanza. 📈 With unrealized profits of $46 million in four days, it’s like they’ve struck oil in their own backyard. Their average buy-in at $2.44 per XRP? Maartunn says it’s the kind of number that could make or break the market’s wagon wheel.
Meanwhile, inflows into spot Ethereum ETFs have resumed, a sure sign that institutional investors are finally taking this market seriously-after years of ignoring it, of course. 🤷♂️💸
This is a technical analysis post by CoinDesk analyst and Chartered Market Technician Omkar Godbole. How comforting to know our fate is dictated by a man with a spreadsheet and a PhD in despair. 📊😢
According to Saylor, Bitcoin’s journey from speculation to legitimacy began with the approval of U.S. Bitcoin ETFs-a spectacle akin to Wall Street adopting a stray cat and suddenly calling it a “luxury accessory.” Pension funds, corporations, and asset managers now treat it as a reserve-grade store of value. But the real transformation, he insisted, is as subtle as a rhinestone in a landfill.
Lower rates and the cessation of QT might unleash a deluge of liquidity, a boon for risky whims like Bitcoin, as history-oh, that sly jokester-has shown.
“I think these 12 months have probably been the best 12 months in the history of the industry,” Saylor said, as if the industry isn’t just a bunch of people trying to make money while pretending they’re not. 🤷♂️ CNBC, ever the reliable source of truth, reported this. 📺
In a week that could have been plucked from the diary of a disillusioned poet, the great DOGE whales, those self-proclaimed arbiters of sagacity, offloaded a staggering 500 million coins. The air crackled with the scent of panic, or perhaps just the lingering perfume of ill-advised optimism. Ali Martinez, the oracle of on-chain data, noted via X that wallets brimming with 10-100 million DOGE had shed their burdens like autumn leaves-drastic, dramatic, and slightly theatrical.
Bitcoin and altcoins are doing the happy dance, but let’s not get carried away. Low interest rates = more liquidity, which = crypto getting its moment. Parabolic rally? More like a “wait, is this real?” moment. 🚀🤔
After weeks of dithering about like a lost tourist in Ankh-Morpork, SOL’s finally got its act together. Optimism’s in the air, thicker than a troll’s club.
