And what’s this? A sale of their shiny new SPACE tokens that’s as unpredictable as a cat on a hot tin roof? Well, hold onto your hats! The sale kicks off on December 17 at 6:00 PM UTC, and it’s got the makings of a spectacle. They’ve got a fancy market-clearing price model, which means everyone pays roughly the same, like a barroom scuffle over the last bottle – fair enough, I suppose. 💰
Mark your calendars for February, when this “Everything” protocol will layer permissionless lending and borrowing atop the classic AMM xy = k model. The goal? To turn the wild, fragmented DeFi chaos into a capital-efficient barnyard. With one smart contract and a single liquidity pool, it’ll let you swap, borrow, and trade with leverage – all while pretending to be oracle-less. Sounds like a circus act with no net. 🎢
Gao and his gang gathered nearly $170 million-enough to buy a castle or at least a very fancy pineapple-by spinning tales of wizardry in the crypto universe. But it was more smoke and mirrors than actual treasure. Secretly, Gao was cosying up to a side scheme, buying BitClout tokens at a discount and selling them at a devilishly higher price-pocketing just shy of $2 million in secret profit. Sneaky, sneaky! 🕵️♂️💸
“Cryptocurrencies? Money? In Russia? Ha! That’s about as likely as finding a decent cup of tea at a Higgs Boson party,” Aksakov quipped at a press conference hosted by TASS. “They’re investment tools, not shopping carts. So, unless you’re planning to buy a spaceship with your rubles, don’t bother.” 🚀🛒
Ah, Hut 8 (HUT), the bitcoin and AI miner with dreams bigger than its britches. It’s struck a deal with Fluidstack, an AI infrastructure firm, for a whopping 245 megawatts of IT capacity at its River Bend campus in Louisiana. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any juicier, Fluidstack gets a Right of First Offer for an additional 1,000 megawatts as the campus grows. That’s right-1,000. 🌪️
And for those cheeky enough to try and jailbreak the system, X has drawn a line in the sand. Attempt to circumvent the algorithms with “prompt engineering,” “injection,” or other tech wizardry, and expect a hefty fine-up to $15,000 per million posts scraped in a mere 24 hours. Talk about a penalty that’s more substantial than most people’s quarterly bonuses! 💸
According to Shibburn, in the last 24 hours, 715,893 SHIB tokens were burned, a significantly smaller amount compared to the days when millions of SHIB tokens were burned. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! 🤔
Officials in Moscow are waving their big, bureaucratic fists and shouting, “Crypto? As money? Ha! That’s as likely as a bear riding a bicycle.” Anatoly Aksakov, the wise owl of the State Duma, says digital assets simply don’t fit into Russia’s strict legal puzzle. So, no crypto cash register ringing! 🛑🦅
So, HashKey Holdings, the crypto exchange that’s basically the cool kid in Hong Kong, made its Stock Exchange debut on Wednesday. 🎉 Raised $206 million in its IPO. Not too shabby, right? Priced shares at HK$6.68, which is basically the “I’m fancy but not too fancy” of pricing ranges.
Ah, digital assets-those delightful enigmas that have evolved from mere tokens to Byzantine financial contraptions. Staking, DeFi, airdrops, NFTs-each more confounding than the last, like guests at a particularly disastrous garden party. Regulators, bless their bureaucratic hearts, still cling to Howey like a drowning man to a lifebuoy, while the rest of us drown in liquidity pools.