At the beginning of the year, Ethereum (ETH) was trading at a measly 0.036 BTC per coin. By April and May, it had plummeted to 0.019 BTC, but it’s since soared to 0.042 BTC. 2025 has been a slow burn for ETH, with its momentum taking a bit longer to kick in, but several magical factors have fueled its recent ascent. Top of the list is the vanishing act of ETH on exchanges-levels not seen since the dark ages of July 2016.
And who wouldn’t listen to an ‘insight’ from a heavyweight crypto fortune teller like Eric Trump? It’s like watching a tiny shrimp perform quantum physics – bewildering yet intriguing. At some Wyoming Blockchain Symposium event (probably located inside a volcano, we suspect), Trump prognosticated that Bitcoin might skyrocket beyond $175K by December, before taking a joyride to over $1M in a couple of galactic rotations. “There’s no question!” he declared with the confidence of a man who believes he’s seen a flying spaghetti monster.
On the 24th of August, the daily chart reveals a tale of woe. A double top near $124,000-a folly of hubris-and a breakdown below $117,000, the sacred support now a tomb for bullish dreams. The rebound from $111,658, once a savior, now falters like a drunkard’s last attempt to stand. Volume, that fickle friend, betrays the bulls with red candles roaring like a bear’s growl. Traders, dear souls, take heed: $117,000 is your Promised Land, and $111,658, the abyss. 🐻❄️
For months, the crypto cognoscenti have bickered like schoolboys over a marbles tournament, debating the likelihood of an altseason. Some, with the optimism of a first-time investor, declared it an impossibility, citing the bloated volumes of altcoins over the past four years. Others, more cunning or perhaps merely more deluded, insisted on a selective renaissance, predicated on the trifecta of community, market capitalization, and utility. A delightful farce, no doubt, but one that Egrag Crypto now claims to have resolved with the precision of a Swiss watchmaker.
In what can only be described as an epistle of anxiety, Apple proclaimed that they have come into contact with reports of an “extremely sophisticated” assault. One must chuckle with incredulity at the idea of a “sophisticated” attack when we consider the simple complexity of human existence. Yet, in true Apple fashion, they implore their users-like a mother hen urging her chicks to heed the rain-to install the latest iOS, iPadOS, and macOS patches without delay. It seems the worm at the core of our beloved devices has been festering, described as nothing less than an out-of-bounds write, fixed-if one could believe such as being possible-with refined bounds checking. A malicious image file, it appears, can cause our devices to become as confused as a cat in a dog park, leading to severe memory corruption.
Perish not, for the esteemed asset management firm Vaneck has unveiled its “Mid-August 2025 Bitcoin Chaincheck”-fragments of wisdom scribed by Patrick Bush, the venerable analyst of digital antiquities, and Matthew Sigel, who stands as head of digital assets research.
Gold had centuries to preen in its gilded cage. The dollar, a mere century to strut its stuff. And yet, Bitcoin, the enfant terrible of currency, is staging the same coup in under two decades. Bravo! 👏
In the past 24 hours, Ethena’s [ENA] price action has been nothing short of a theatrical performance, with liquidity across both on-chain and off-chain markets bursting forth like a well-timed punchline in a comedy. 🎭
But the plot thickens! Hours ago, our hero sent 300 BTC ($34.9 million) to Hyperliquid, only to transmute it into ETH. His spot stash now stands at 122,226 ETH, purchased at $4,377, already basking in $42 million of paper profits. Is this the dawn of Ethereum’s ascendancy? Or merely a whale’s whimsical fancy? 🧐
Imagine a scene where the platform, in a fit of generosity or perhaps greed (take your pick), coughs up $6.37 million in fees within a single day and then proceeds to buy 140,000 tokens-more than the population of some small towns-resulting in a 21% surge in buyback volume. Truly, this is the kind of demand-driven magic tricks that keep prices from plummeting into the abyss, much to the delight of long-term holders who dream of never selling. Or at least, that’s what they tell themselves while sipping on their coffee. ☕👌
