Bitcoin’s Death Cross: The Sky is Falling… Again?

The so-called sages at Crypto Crew University have declared that Bitcoin has birthed another death cross, a two-day affair where the 50-period moving average slinks beneath the 200-period like a thief in the night. They claim it’s a sign of doom, a bearish omen that has, in the past, heralded drops of 50% to 70%. In 2014, 2018, and 2022, this cross appeared, and each time, the market took a nosedive. But let’s not forget the brief bounce, the “bull trap,” that lures the greedy back in before the floor gives way. “Are you paying attention?” they ask, as if the world isn’t already glued to their every word.

CZ’s Money Goes…Where?!

“BitGo has maintained a hack-free security record for over a decade, a testament to the technical foundation,” YZi Labs head Ella Zhang said on January 23rd. A decade? That’s like, three internet lifetimes! She’s making it sound like they invented the wheel…and then locked it in a vault.

Makina Finance: From ETH Theft to Redemption?

Makina Finance, a DeFi platform that focuses on yield-earning stablecoins, has provided a detailed update after its DUSD/USDC Curve pool was hit by an exploit earlier this week. The incident, which took place on January 20, resulted in the loss of around 1,299 ETH and briefly disrupted some of the protocol’s operations. One might call it a drama of liquidity, though the tragedy is yet to be written.

Crypto ETFs Crash Into Thailand-Because We Totally Needed That

According to the ever-exciting Bangkok Post, Thailand’s SEC is dusting off its rulebook and cramming in some new crypto regulations. Jomkwan Kongsakul, the deputy secretary-general (a title that sounds like a mid-level villain in a spy movie), announced they’re rolling out guidelines for digital asset ETFs-basically, “investing in Bitcoin for people who still think ‘blockchain’ is a fitness trend.”

Dogecoin: A Most Curious Ascent

The price, you see, did manage a bit of a rebound from the somewhat ignominious depth of $0.1150. It pushed past the $0.1180 mark, and even dared to glance at $0.120, as if questioning whether further exertion was truly worth the effort. Alas, it remains tethered below the lofty $0.130, a veritable ceiling of indifference, and that 100-hourly simple moving average – a concept so complex it is best not to dwell upon it.

Ripple & DXC Join Forces: Banks Beware, Crypto’s Moving In!

Verily, the wheels of progress creak forward, as venerable banks-those marble-pillared fortresses of yore-tentatively dip their gilded toes into the bubbling stream of blockchain, guided by none other than DXC Technology (NYSE: DXC), that steadfast guardian of enterprise mediocrity. On the momentous date of January 21, 2026, a sacred pact was formed with Ripple, promising to bestow upon poor, suffering banks the twin blessings of digital asset custody and gasp payments! Could it be? Can such miracles occur before lunchtime?