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Ah, XRP, trapped in a tiny dungeon of $2.17 to $2.24-a price range so tight, it might as well be a coffin. The traders, in their madness, maneuver anxiously, their hopes dashed by failed breakouts that only serve to liquidate their dwindling hopes and assets. Glassnode-those mad scientists of blockchain-capture this turmoil, revealing failed escapes that leave traders drowning in liquidations and despair. Truly, a spectacle of human folly! 😂

According to on-chain data (or as I like to call it, the world’s most public form of snooping), Coinbase’s XRP holdings took a nosedive from nearly a billion tokens down to just around 32 million in September. Some bright minds out there are suggesting that these tokens have been quietly tucked away into private vaults, possibly under the cover of non-disclosure agreements. Who needs transparency when you’ve got private custody, right? 🙄

Hayes is worried that Tether’s growing love affair with Bitcoin and gold might backfire if those assets decide to take a nosedive. Because, you know, nothing says “financial stability” like betting the farm on volatile assets. 🏦💔 Meanwhile, the crypto community is over here sipping their chai lattes, insisting Tether is as solid as a rock. Or at least, a moderately sturdy boulder. 🌋

Meanwhile, in the shadows of their more illustrious counterparts, the newly minted Solana and XRP ETFs continue their quiet march, attracting steady streams of institutional capital with the unassuming grace of a Turgenev protagonist. 🌱

For the uninitiated, DonAlt is a crypto soothsayer of some repute, recently prophesying a 700% rally for XRP-a token so controversial it’s like predicting a comeback for that dubious cousin who “invented” a blockchain-based teapot. His tweets are treated with the reverence usually reserved for tax returns or the Queen’s Christmas speech.

And now they’re unloading shares? 2.66%! From the core contributors? It’s always the core contributors! It’s like, “Oh, we made a thing, now let us cash out while you people hold the bag.” $344M worth. You think that’s gonna be smooth? Please. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. A slow-motion disaster, maybe, but a disaster nonetheless.

On the 1-hour chart, Bitcoin’s behavior resembled a chap cautiously dipping his toe into a lukewarm bath-hopeful but not entirely convinced. A pivot formed around $90,800 to $91,200, like a butler politely clearing his throat before announcing dinner. Buyers gave the price a gentle shove to $91,629, only to be met with a wall of hesitation just shy of $92,000-proof that traders, much like my Aunt Agatha, are perpetually torn between enthusiasm and suspicion.

Today, Pi Coin (PI) flirted at $0.2500, up nearly 70% from its humble lows, while Bitcoin and Ethereum took a nosedive-a real joy ride, I tell you. 🎢

With ETF inflows climbing faster than a greased pig at a county fair, and long-term holders selling off their tokens like last year’s holiday decorations, traders are now holding their breath-spectacles on, popcorn ready-to see if December can produce its usual miracle or just another snorefest. This analysis dips into XRP’s seasonal history, on-chain behavior, and the most important levels (spoiler: it’s complicated).

The top hundred public treasury companies are now the proud holders of over a million and a bit more Bitcoins, each one a digital nugget of promise. Even J.P. Morgan, that behemoth of banks with dollars as uncanny as a swarm of marauding seagulls, fattened its Bitcoin purse with a $300 million slug from BlackRock’s IBIT. Now, isn’t that a putty in the eye? 🐦💰