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The surge in scams, they say, follows the Swell conference, a gathering of minds as lofty as it was brief, and the birth of the first spot XRP ETF, a financial marvel that has stirred the slumbering hordes of malevolence. One might wonder, is it the promise of profit or the specter of chaos that has driven these scammers to the shadows, their fingers twitching with the urge to steal?

When ICE (yes, the one that brings you cold drinks) shoves $2B into Polymarket, it’s not just a party trick-it’s a full-blown financial séance. 🌊🔮 It was a signal: institutions are beginning to trade probability itself.

Nearly $900 million in BTC positions vanished faster than vodka at a Cossack wedding, yet this amounted to less than 2% of the total market. The October massacre, where liquidity dried up like a desert stream, had been far worse. The market was cooling, yes-but like a samovar left unattended, not yet shattered upon the floor.

The pilot portfolio is a curious trifecta of digital instruments. Bitcoin, the king of cryptocurrencies 🦁, takes center stage, allowing the bank to observe market behavior and settlement processes. A USD-backed stablecoin, the quiet sibling 💤, has been added to study how tokenized dollars function in real-time transactions. Rounding out this digital menagerie is a tokenized deposit, the blockchain’s quirky cousin 🤓, which mimics a traditional bank deposit but operates on blockchain infrastructure. Together, these assets form a controlled playground where the bank can test custody, settlement, approvals, and emergency procedures. Think of it as a sandbox-but with financial stakes.

Meanwhile, Wall Street is buzzing – Why on earth is the most cautious endowment in the universe suddenly loading up on digital gold? It’s like seeing the Vatican swap incense for blockchain. Expect a grand spectacle, or at least a good chuckle. 🎭

As the esteemed chroniclers at Bloomberg have revealed, the European Commission-ever eager to meddle-has devised a scheme to wrestle oversight of those delightfully volatile crypto enterprises from the humble national authorities and bestow it upon the grandly titled European Securities and Markets Authority (ESMA). How very continental! 🇪🇺