Reuters just whispered that Beijing’s State Council will dust off a roadmap in August featuring-wait for it-yuan-backed stablecoins. Translation: China finally figured out that screaming “blockchain bad!” while frantically waving the e-CNY like a participation trophy wasn’t making friends at the global finance lunch table. 🍱
From Ban Hammer to “Hey, Wanna Come Over and Tokenize?”
Remember 2021? Pepperidge Farm (and every Chinese miner) remembers. That was the year Beijing ghosted crypto harder than a situationship. Three years later, the e-CNY is still stuck at the “it’s complicated” stage, while USDT and USDC are basically the Visa and Mastercard of the internet. Meanwhile, the dollar lounges at 47% of global payments, and the yuan? Sixth place-2.9%. Ouch. 🥉
- Dollar: chilling at 98% of stablecoin market share, sipping sanctions like kombucha.
- Yuan: still waiting for the “it’s not you, it’s me” text from SWIFT.
- Trump 2.0: already drafting tweets about “stablecoins so bigly American they’ll have bald eagles as mascots.” 🦅
So yeah, yuan stablecoins aren’t a cute experiment. They’re China’s financial comeback tour-think Beyoncé at Coachella, but with more spreadsheets.
Summit Season: Cross-Border Karaoke Night 🎤
Next stop: SCO Summit in Tianjin (Aug 31-Sept 1). Picture China, Russia, India, and friends belting out “We Will De-Dollarize You” in four-part harmony. Rumor has it the first rollout karaoke booths will be in Hong Kong and Shanghai-because nothing says “international credibility” like an SAR that just passed stablecoin rules on August 1 with the enthusiasm of a speed-dating host. 🍸
The Bigger Picture: Belt, Road, and Blockchain-Now in Token Form
If the plan gets the green light, this isn’t crypto anarchy; it’s a velvet-roped VIP lounge with facial recognition at the door. Permissioned, monitored, and synced to every CCTV camera between Guangzhou and Guiyang. But hey, at least it’s on-chain! Think Belt & Road, but if the Belt were a blockchain and the Road was a QR code. 🛣️🔗
Final Thought: The Irony Is Strong With This One
China banned crypto to keep control, then realized the fastest way to export the yuan is… on the very rails it outlawed. It’s like breaking up with Wi-Fi because you hate tweets, then discovering the only way to stream your own reality show is… Wi-Fi. 📡❤️
If these yuan stablecoins actually moon, Satoshi’s 2009 blog post will officially be the “A New Hope” of digital money-and this? This is “The Empire Tokenizes Back.” 🚀
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2025-08-21 02:26