BREAKING: XRP Just Got a PhD in “Not a Security”! 🎓💸 According to a bipartisan draft bill, the Senate is now debating whether XRP is a “commodity” or a “security” – because nothing says “serious policy” like arguing over a digital token that’s basically a crypto version of a goldfish in a jar. 🐠
The “Bipartisan Market Structure Draft” is basically a legal game of “Simon Says” for regulators: CFTC, SEC, and everyone’s favorite – nobody. Proponents claim this will “remove years of legal uncertainty” – which is just a fancy way of saying, “Let’s all stop pretending we know what we’re doing!” 🤷♂️
Durham Study: XRP Is a “Radical Commodity”
Meanwhile, Durham University’s Ludovico Rella has published a paper so deep, it’s basically a PhD thesis on “digital metallism.” 🧠💎 He calls XRP a “radical form of commodity money” and says it’s “like gold in your hands” – which is either a compliment or a warning to anyone who’s ever tried to spend a Bitcoin. 🚨
Rella’s research also claims XRP is “the most liquid of assets on the XRP Ledger” – which is like saying a toaster is the “most toasty” appliance in your kitchen. 🔥
XRP’s Dual Role: Crypto’s Version of a Swiss Army Knife
Rella argues XRP is both a “digital asset” and a “bridge asset” – like a crypto version of a multi-tool that also doubles as a fashion accessory. 🛠️✨ The study traces Ripple’s journey from “trust-based mutual credit” to “blockchain-powered payments network” – because nothing says “innovation” like replacing a handshake with a ledger. 🤝
Lawmakers are now pushing for “clarity” – which, in this context, means “let’s all agree to stop pretending we understand blockchain.” 🤯
XRP’s $5T annual volume? That’s enough to buy every cat in the world a lifetime supply of tuna. 🐱🐟 Ripple’s CEO? He’s aiming to “capture 14% of SWIFT’s $150T volume” – because nothing says “modest goals” like trying to outpace the entire global banking system. 🏁
And just when you thought it couldn’t get any crazier, XRP’s price jumped 4% to $2.50. 📈 It’s like the market finally realized, “Hey, this is a token, not a stock. Let’s just go with it!” 🤷♀️
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2025-11-14 01:36