Trump’s Tariff Tantrum: Greenland, BTC, and a Dash of Chaos! 🚀💸

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In a world where the only thing more unpredictable than the weather is the US President’s latest geopolitical whim, a curious situation has arisen. Greenland, that icy enigma of a landmass, has become the epicenter of a trade war so absurd it could make a diplomat weep.

Donald Trump, ever the master of dramatic declarations, has declared that the United States must “control the island” (a claim that would baffle even the most ardent geographer). To enforce this, he’s slapped tariffs on a list of nations that could double as a European football team, including Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and a few others who probably didn’t see this coming.

The tariffs start at a modest 10% on February 1, 2026, but if Greenland isn’t “completely and totally purchased” by June, they’ll balloon to 25%. A timeline as flexible as a rubber band, really.

BREAKING: President Trump announces a 10% tariff on Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, the UK, Netherlands, and Finland beginning February 1st.

This tariff will be increased to 25% beginning on June 1st.

Tariffs will remain in effect until the US reaches a deal to buy…

– The Kobeissi Letter (@KobeissiLetter) January 17, 2026

Trump’s vision? A “complete and total purchase of Greenland,” which, let’s be honest, sounds less like a business deal and more like a very expensive game of Monopoly. The analysts at the Kobeissi Letter estimate that $1.2 trillion in trade will be impacted-a figure so large it makes your head spin like a confused penguin.

Meanwhile, Bitcoin, that digital phoenix of hope and hype, is currently trading at a level that suggests either extreme confidence or a very long nap. Last year’s crash from $110,000 to under $75,000 was a rollercoaster so wild it could’ve been a theme park ride. But today, it’s as calm as a cat in a bubble bath.

 

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2026-01-17 21:13