The Great FTX Scandal: A $3.7M Farewell!

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In the land of FTX, where the winds of fortune blew strong, a poor soul named Nishad Singh found himself ensnared in the labyrinth of regulatory whims, paying a sum so grand it could buy a small kingdom-or at least a very expensive parrot.

five years of trading, as if a man could trade without a soul, and eight years of registration, a punishment so severe it might as well be eternal damnation.

Singh, the former head of engineering, now a mere shadow of his former self, paid his dues in disgorgement, a term as vague as the motives of a bureaucrat. The CFTC, ever the stern parent, declared his cooperation a virtue, though one wonders if they’ve ever met a man more eager to please.

With a five-year trading ban, Singh is now free to pursue hobbies like knitting or counting his losses. The eight-year registration ban? A cruel joke, for who would trust him again? Not even a squirrel would let him near a nut.

Miller, the enforcer, declared Singh’s actions “severe,” a word so overused it’s practically a badge of honor. Yet, the man’s fate is sealed, and the courts, ever the stage, have played their part.

“Aid and abet? Why, he was merely a spectator in the grand opera of fraud!” cried the lawyers, though one suspects they were more interested in a quick resolution than a moral reckoning.

Singh, accused of misappropriating millions, now walks a path of penance, his name etched into the annals of financial folly. A tale for the ages, though likely forgotten by the time the next scandal arrives.

And lo! The FTX founder, Sam Bankman-Fried, seeks a retrial, a man who has already served 25 years for fraud. One wonders if the court will grant his wish-or simply toss him a bone and call it justice.

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2026-04-02 10:50