In this modern epic of madness, Fidelity’s Jurien Timmer posits that the fraught dissolution of speculative tokens-be they viral scribbles, hollow SPACs, or the infamous Bitcoin-is “probably a good thing.” A quaint euphemism for the self-inflicted purging of civilization’s dopamine-induced mania.
The sharp deflation of these delusional assets, he argues, is but a salutary cough in the grand theater of capital-a way to dissent from the “irrational exuberance” of the unwashed masses. Truer words were never spoken with such a smug tone. 🚀
Behold! The breath has vanished from the absurdly inflated parrots of speculation: meme scribblings, Bitcoin-fueled balderdash, IPO phantoms, and unprofitable “tech” dreams. Might this death rattle be… gasp… an overture to sanity? Silly me. 🧨
– Jurrien Timmer (@TimmerFidelity) November 25, 2025
The Mid-Cycle Midlife Crisis?
Yet again, the sage scribes of crypto-apocalypse insist this 20-30% tumult is merely a “normal correction,” a kind of fiscal shampoo to rinse out the goldfish-memory investors. Leverage be damned, they shrug, as they sip their calcium-fortified lattes. 💸
Richard Teng of Binance, our steadfast bard of blockchain, christens this rout a “healthy consolidation phase.” A term so clinical it could’ve been plucked from a Soviet-era medical journal. 👓
Arthur Hayes, with the gravitas of a prophet in a trench coat, adds that “the purge of excess leverage” will birth e-commerce gods in 2026. (One wonders if he meant Bitcoin or his own brokerage.)
JPMorgan’s analysts, in a display of truly avant-garde forecasting, predict Bitcoin may reach $170,000 by 2026-based on a “volatility-adjusted comparison with gold.” Because comparing a ledger of dollars to gleaming rocks? Groundbreaking. 🌍
The Vanishing Sparks of Bitcoin
As U.Today exhumes, Timmer noted Bitcoin’s “momentum collapse,” now merely a risk siren instead of a safe haven (he said that in 2024). Yet, he concedes the network remains “healthy.” Hustle, you say, as this house burns down?
“Behold, Bitcoin’s power curve!” Timmer croons. “Though it tumbled below $100k, it remains more or less on track.” More or less. What a comforting assurance performance of faith! ⚡️
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2025-11-26 08:44