Tether Boss Blasts S&P: “Your Ratings Are as Accurate as a Blindfolded Cat!”

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Well now, I tell ya, Paolo Ardoino, the big cheese over at Tether, done hollered back at S&P Global Ratings after they goosed USDT’s score down to a “5 (weak)” on their fancy “stability scale.” Think of it like a report card from a kid who’s been caught cheating-awful embarrassing, but he’s got somethin’ to say about it. 🐶📉

He called the folks at S&P a buncha folks still sittin’ on their porches in a broken old financial town, and claimed they don’t understand how a stablecoin like USDT works-like a cow cantor at a ballet recital. Complainin’ about their “disclosure gaps” and how they’re all worried ‘cause Tether’s got Bitcoin, gold, loans, and bonds mixed up in its reserves, like a stew gone bad. Meanwhile, he makes a point that Tether’s got better governance than those other guys, like USDC, who haven’t had a scandal yet (probably because they’re too broke to scandalize). 🏦💰

Tether’s Ranch Hand Fires Back

Ardoino’s took to the ol’ X (formerly known as Twitter, but who’s countin’?) and said Tether’s gonna wear their dislike “proud as a peacock,” even if S&P calls it “weak.” Said they’re just mad because classical finance models are as useful as a screen door on a submarine-predictin’ collapses, leavin’ investors high and dry. And these ratings agencies? Just government pets, if you ask me, favorin’ the corrupt and forgettin’ the honest folks. 😏

He also suggested that the low grade’s just a good ol’ fashioned hissy fit from the old-timey finance boys who can’t handle a company decidin’ to step outta their mess. Tether, he claims, is the first in the industry to be overcapitalized without carryin’ around toxic reserves-and still makin’ money faster than a chicken on a junebug. Says plainly, Tether’s like a sturdy old mule-strong as an ox and doesn’t need fancy tricks to get the job done.

“Tether is livin’ proof that the financial system’s about as sound as a house of cards in a windstorm,” he declared. 🌬️🏚️

Reserves, Risks, and a Whole Lotta Hooey

S&P’s report explains that about 5.6% of USDT is made up of Bitcoin-more than their overcollateralized waddling buffer of 3.9%. They warn that if Bitcoin or any other risky asset like corporate bonds or gold takes a tumble, USDT might find itself a bit underfunded-like a blind pig lookin’ for a truffle. They also note that most of USDT’s stash is in U.S. Treasury bills and dollar cash, but they’re still keepin’ mum about the fine print of their bank buddies, which makes the rating as shaky as a newborn calf.

Now, if Tether was to back off those high-falutin’ risky assets and open up more about its reserve manage-and its partners-they might just climb outta that “weak” spot. USDT’s still the king of stablecoins, with a big ol’ market cap of $184 billion-more than enough to make even the most cynical think twice.

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2025-11-27 15:00