Tether and Binance Skip EU’s Crypto Dance – 53 Others Foxtrot In Under New Rules

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Six months into the EU’s grand MiCA experiment – sorry, regulation – a hearty 53 crypto hopefuls have obtained the golden ticket to operate across the mysterious and well-laminated lands of the European Economic Area (EEA). 🎩✨

Curiously, the invite seems to have gotten lost in the post for Tether and Binance, the Beyoncé and Bono of the crypto world. Coincidence? 😂

Europe’s Crypto Licensing: Now With 97% More Bureaucrats and Spreadsheets

According to Patrick Hansen, who wears the ceremonial sash of Circle’s EU Policy Head, 39 crypto-asset service providers (CASPs) and 14 stablecoin issuers (that’s “e-money tokens” to their mothers) have convinced the EU they know what a regulation is.

The coveted MiCA license means companies can “passport” their services across 30 EEA countries with just the one set of permission slips, presumably saving oceans of ink and a small forest of paperwork. 🌳🖋️

“Six months into MiCA’s application for CASPs — and 12 months for stablecoins — here’s the latest July snapshot,” Hansen beamed, producing a country-by-country breakdown with the enthusiasm usually reserved for stamp collectors and Eurovision fans.

France, Germany, and the Netherlands are thoroughly enjoying their starring roles, fielding 9 of the 14 authorized issuers and no fewer than three kinds of self-satisfaction. Twenty fiat-backed stablecoins – mostly in euros, dollars, or “best guess” – now parade about, fully compliant across seven EU countries.

CASP-wise, Germany and the Netherlands are setting the brisk regulatory pace, together fielding 23 of those 39 providers and possibly just flexing at this point.

If you’re looking for household crypto names with a hint of IPO aftershave, Coinbase, Bitstamp, Kraken, and OKX have secured their badges. Fintech darlings and TradFi types (don’t be shy, Robinhood, Trade Republic, BBVA) slipped in quietly and are now busy not rocking the boat.

But, without Tether and Binance in the mix, the whole event is a bit like the opera with the lead soprano backstage, still arguing with her wig. Tether, responsible for the world’s largest stablecoin USDT (and a number of nervous regulators), is notably absent from the authorization party.

Binance, never one to miss a good adversarial relationship with European regulators, is also not listed. Please send all expressions of surprise in an envelope marked “Sarcasm.”

Where Are the Giants? Tether’s Transparency: Now You See It, Now You… Eh, Never Mind

If anyone is shocked by Tether’s absence, do check on your goldfish for similar levels of short-term memory. With its ongoing “coming soon!” audit promises – a tradition since 2017 – Tether is locked in an infinite game of audit peekaboo, much to the delight of everyone except those who enjoy transparency and accurate numbers.

“Tether’s continual failure to undergo an independent audit raises a distressing red flag for the company and its USDT product. Tether has promised that it would conduct a full audit since at least 2017 but has still failed to do so. In August 2022, its CEO stated that an audit was ‘likely months away.’ Years later, there is still no audit,” the official critique droned, while somewhere a Tether executive was heard whispering, “Soon. Soon…”

So far, Tether prefers the lightweight “attestation” approach: an accountant pulls back the curtain, sighs, and mutters, “Close enough.” CEO Paolo Ardoino, interviewed in April 2025, suggested Big Four audit firms aren’t tripping over each other to win Tether’s business, what with banks, regulatory whiplash, and haunted memories of FTX lurking in the shadows. 👻

“You’re a Big Four audit firm. You have the whole banking industry as customers. Why gamble all that for a few stablecoins? With FTX explosions and all, it’s easier to audit a dragon’s hoard,” Ardoino intoned, probably while checking his messages for any overdue audits.

So, for now, Tether’s MiCA compliance scores about as high as a chocolate teapot in a furnace.

Binance’s vanishing act is a whole other circus. Its ongoing jousts with regulators led to retreat from several EU territories, including Germany, the Netherlands, and Cyprus, as 2023 and 2024 swept by in a blur of legal paperwork, copy trading restrictions, and enough strategic “pauses” to launch a meditation app.

In France, authorities have dusted off their best detective hats, investigating Binance for possible money laundering – a pastime as French as existentialism and refusing to queue. Meanwhile, MiCA’s “transparent governance” requirements are surely causing headaches in the Binance compliance department, if not actual tears.

The next thrilling chapter awaits in September, when everyone gets to evaluate the regulatory impact so far – and perhaps check if Tether’s audit has finally emerged, like a rare and slightly confused butterfly. 🦋

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2025-07-08 09:37