Telegram’s Russian Roulette: 7.46M Channels Blocked Ahead of April 1 Deadline

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In the vast and enigmatic land of Russia, where the frost clings to the earth like an unspoken truth, the once-unstoppable Telegram now falters beneath the iron will of regulators. The messenger, once heralded as a digital Prometheus, now kneels before the altar of bureaucracy, its channels vanishing like snowflakes in the sun.

  • On the fifteenth of February, Telegram’s digital gates slammed shut on 238,800 channels, and by the sixteenth, another 187,300 found themselves exiled to the void. Since the new year, the count of banished groups and channels has soared past 7.463 million-a number so grand it could rival the debts of a tsar.
  • Russia, ever the master of theatrics, has cast WhatsApp into the abyss, severing its domains from the DNS as if plucking a weed from a garden of state-approved messengers. In its place, the humble Max messenger rises, a bureaucratic phoenix cloaked in the trappings of patriotism.
  • Yet, the Russian people, those eternal tricksters of history, have not surrendered. With the cunning of a fox in a chicken coop, they embrace VPNs and the shadowy imo, as if whispering secrets to the wind while the state’s hounds sniff the air.

The parliamentary committee, led by the indomitable Andrey Svintsov, declared with the solemnity of a funeral orator that Telegram, “in its infinite wisdom,” has begun to comply with the demands of the Russian Federation. “Over the past week,” he intoned, “Telegram has blocked more than 230,000 channels and pieces of content that violated current legislation.” One might imagine the channels groaning in unison, their final words echoing through the void: “We never stood a chance.”

Russian authorities, ever the patient torturer, throttled Telegram’s traffic earlier this month, citing non-compliance. Whispers of a full blockade on April 1 swirl like autumn leaves, though the Kremlin remains as silent as a monk in a monastery. Svintsov, with the confidence of a man who has never held a candle to a flame, insisted Telegram could fulfill Roskomnadzor’s demands in a mere one to two months-a timeline as optimistic as a gambler counting his chips at the roulette table.

Roskomnadzor, that omniscient overseer of digital realms, demands Telegram open a legal entity, store data on Russian soil, pay taxes, and block prohibited content. “Opening a legal entity takes a week at most,” Svintsov declared, as if the laws of bureaucracy were mere suggestions. “Moving personal data processing takes another two or three weeks.” One wonders if the data, like a weary traveler, mutters curses as it crosses the border.

Last summer, whispers claimed Telegram would establish an office in Russia under the “landing law.” Pavel Durov, the messenger’s savior and CEO, denied these tales with the subtlety of a bear refusing honey. The Russian Association of Bloggers and Agencies’ Yulia Dolgova noted that unlike WhatsApp, which was summarily executed by the DNS guillotine, Telegram fights with the vigor of a cornered lion-though its users, ever the pragmatists, simply download a new app and carry on.

Telegram, the Government, and the Illusion of Freedom

The Baza channel, that purveyor of government whispers, reported that Roskomnadzor plans to “begin a total blocking of the messenger” on April 1. When asked for comment, Roskomnadzor offered the cryptic reply: “Nothing to add.” A response as enlightening as a cat watching a canary.

TASS, that paragon of impartiality, revealed Telegram’s self-inflicted purge: 238,800 channels on the fifteenth, 187,300 on the sixteenth. By the seventeenth, the tally had surpassed 7.463 million-a number so staggering it could make the Cossacks weep. Yet, Telegram remains the second most popular messaging app in Russia, trailing only WhatsApp, which, in a twist of irony, was blocked before it could finish its tea.

As Russia’s digital empire tightens its grip, the people adapt. The state-backed Max messenger gains ground, while imo, that American upstart, lures users with the promise of freedom. One might say the battle between state and citizen is as old as the Volga itself, though the stakes now are measured in gigabytes rather than grain.

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2026-02-18 15:34