Ah, the age-old tale of a cryptocurrency exchange and its penchant for attracting the attention of Washington’s finest. Binance, ever the drama queen, is once again the center of a political tempest, as lawmakers question whether it’s living up to its 2023 “settlement” with U.S. authorities-a deal that, ironically, led to its founder’s resignation. How very Hollywood.
Democrats Urge DOJ And Treasury Investigation
On Friday, a group of eleven Senate Democrats, led by the ever-suspicious Elizabeth Warren, sent a letter to the Department of Justice and Treasury, demanding they “investigate” Binance. Because nothing says “I’m a concerned citizen” like a letter penned in a tone so skeptical it could make a parsnip blush. The senators cited “recent media reports” alleging that Binance might be laundering money for Iran, which is like accusing a toddler of treason-possible, but probably not the main issue.
The letter also referenced Binance’s cozy ties to Donald Trump’s crypto ventures and his infamous pardon of the founder, CZ. Because nothing says “trust us” like a president who’s already been impeached twice and a CEO who’s basically a ghost. The senators called for a “thorough, impartial” investigation. Because, obviously, the DOJ has never been biased in its history of, say, prosecuting only the most egregious of crimes.
Meanwhile, Senator Richard Blumenthal launched his own inquiry, citing reports that Binance might have facilitated $1.7 billion in Iranian transactions. Which is like saying a leaky faucet might be “slightly” wet. Binance, of course, denied everything, insisting they’re as clean as a newborn’s diaper. Because nothing says “compliance” like a company that’s never, ever, ever had a single issue.
Binance Denies Sanctions Violations
Binance’s response? A letter so polite it could make a librarian weep. They claimed no evidence of sanctions violations, which is impressive, considering they’ve managed to avoid legal repercussions longer than a toddler avoids bedtime. They also denied firing investigators for raising concerns, which is either a miracle or a lie. Probably a lie. Because in the world of crypto, truth is just a suggestion.
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2026-02-27 23:47