Robinhood’s CIO, Stephanie Guild, has done the unthinkable: she gasp predicted the stock market’s future. Buckle up-it’s equal parts “hot take” and “please don’t hold this against me if I’m wrong.”
In a very serious interview on CNBC, Guild declared the S&P 500 could rise 8.7% by 2026. “But of course!” she said, “unless a government shutdown happens, which we all know is just a Tuesday for everyone.”
“Net buying’s taken a little breather since October,” Guild explained, “but hey, we’re still here! 2026? Another strong year, maybe. Or maybe not. Depends on the economy, which is basically a toddler with a chainsaw.”
Guild’s “base case” for the S&P 500? A whopping 7,500 points. “That’s 8.7%, give or take, if the Fed doesn’t panic and the labor market doesn’t throw a tantrum.”
“Tech’s been the star of the show-27% earnings growth! But let’s be real, that’s just the A-listers hogging the spotlight. We think other sectors might… exist next year. Like, surprise! There’s more than just Silicon Valley!”
Guild’s big reveal? The market’s about to “broaden out.” Translation: “Stop relying on tech stocks like they’re your emotional support algorithm.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uchHpfjUp3Q
Stay solvent, folks. 🚀💸
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2025-12-30 13:32