PUMP Token Sale Vanishes! $600M Disappears Faster Than My Hairline 🕵️‍♂️💸

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  • Hold on to your wallets, folks! A $600 million PUMP token sale page briefly popped up on Gate.io before being deleted faster than you can say “Mel Brooks was here.” Spoiler: Nobody explained a thing. Typical.
  • Meanwhile, traders are sweating bullets over rumors that the Pump.fun launch might suck the liquidity out of memecoin markets like my Aunt Mildred sucks the life out of family dinners.

Solana’s [SOL] meme-machine, Pump.fun, got everyone gossiping at the digital watercooler this weekend when its mysterious token sale page suddenly appeared on Gate.io—and then poof! Gone! Just like your diet plans after seeing a cheesecake.

Apparently, this ghost page offered 150 billion PUMP tokens (that’s 15% of the pie, people) at $0.004 a pop, for a theoretical $600 million raised and a $4 billion valuation. That’s more zeroes than in my bank account.

Sale was set for July 12th, which could’ve been Pump.fun’s very first, very official, very memetastic token launch. Plot twist: it’s now the first, very vanished, token launch.

PUMP Token Sale

Gate says ‘no confirmed reopening’. Are we shocked? No. Are we confused? Yes.

Crypto Twitter went full conspiracy mode faster than Mel Brooks in a mustache. Tin foil hats sold separately.

The ever-helpful Gate.io support chimed in with a carefully crafted statement (probably scribbled on a Post-it):

“Gate has removed PumpFun (PUMPFUN) pre-market OTC. At this time, there is no confirmed date or announcement for its reopening.”

Meanwhile, Alon Cohen, co-founder of Pump.fun, is missing in action. Not a peep, not a tweet, not even a smoke signal.

“Biggest and most controversial TGE of all time”? Or just Thursday in crypto?

Grab your popcorn: The odds of a token launch before July 31st are 83% on Polymarket. I’ve seen lower odds on my in-law’s casserole being edible.

Simon Dedic from Moonrock Capital insists the deleted announcement was “legit.” (Insiders, sources, maybe his psychic aunt—who knows?!) He’s calling this the ‘most controversial’ TGE ever. Strong words. Even stronger memes incoming.

“This will probably be the biggest and yet most controversial TGE of all time. Whether you’re participating or not, definitely a must-watch.”

Others warn it’ll be a liquidity exodus to rival Moses parting the Red Sea. Remember the TRUMP memecoin? Neither does anyone who lost money.

Traders like Income Sharks are already yelling: “If you lose money, don’t come whining!” They must be fun at parties.

“I do not want to hear a single person complain about losing money on the PumpFun token launch.”

Meanwhile, influencer Ansem says this is “the second plane hitting the Twin Towers,” implying a financial crash so big, even my jokes can’t save it. Too soon? Always too soon in crypto.

Pump.fun: Making and shaking the memecoin scene

Jokes aside (briefly!), Pump.fun has been the talk of the town—leading the memecoin supercycle conga line. $68 billion in trading volume! $694 million in revenue! Mom, I’ve made it! (Just kidding, still broke.)

But daily revenue dove from over $7 million to under $2 million since Q2. Ouch. Even my investments in Beanie Babies did better.

Pump.fun Chart

The competitors? Raydium’s [RAY] LaunchLabs and LetsBONKFun. The latter just passed Pump.fun in revenue for two whole days thanks to the USELESS memecoin. Yes, that’s the real name. Welcome to 2025 🥲.

Now, everyone’s waiting to see what happens next. Will PUMP return? Will it go the way of the dodo? Will there be more drama than a telenovela marathon? Stay tuned, and keep your wallets (and sense of humor) close.

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2025-07-09 06:26