Pi Network’s Price: Slower Than a Sloth on Valium 🦥

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The Pi Network [PI] token, much like a particularly lethargic sloth, has been lacking any semblance of a trend lately. Its 24-hour gains were a thrilling 0.12%, and its 1-week gains soared to a dizzying 0.39%. At this rate, it might outperform a savings account by the year 2525. 🚀 (Or not.)

Meanwhile, Bitcoin [BTC] was busy doing its usual thing-oscillating between $85k and $90k like a caffeinated yo-yo. PI, however, remained unfazed, steadfast in its commitment to mediocrity.

Now, you might think, “Surely, this lack of price movement is due to the network being as dead as a dial-up modem?” But no! The Pi Network has actually been bustling with activity-or at least, the kind of activity that makes developers nod approvingly while traders yawn into their coffee.

Take the Fast Track KYC feature, introduced in September. It made Pi’s standard KYC faster by integrating AI-because nothing says “cutting-edge” like letting robots decide whether you’re a real human. 🤖

Then there was the Pi2Day celebration, which, much like a birthday party for a goldfish, was exciting for those involved and utterly forgettable for everyone else. Highlights included two new ecosystem features (because one just wouldn’t do) and the announcement of the December hackathon winners. First place went to Blind Lounge, a privacy-first dating app-because nothing says romance like anonymity. 💘

Yet, despite all this, PI’s price remained as unmoved as a statue in a hurricane. The technicals, much like a fortune cookie, offered little hope.

Will PI Ever Recover? (Spoiler: Maybe, But Probably Not)

Since late November, PI has been in a downtrend so persistent it could give Sisyphus a run for his money. The previously bullish structure in November was retraced faster than a politician’s promise. The $0.215 level, once a sturdy support, folded like a cheap lawn chair under seller pressure.

A brief rally from December 16th to 19th saw PI climb from $0.192 to $0.218-only to fail spectacularly at reclaiming $0.215 as support. The sellers, it seems, were having none of it.

Why PI’s Bullish Scenario Is About as Likely as a Penguin Winning a Hot Dog Eating Contest 🐧🌭

The moving averages (20DMA at $0.205 and 50DMA at $0.221) loomed overhead like disapproving in-laws, ready to smack down any attempted rally. The structure remained bearish, and unless PI somehow mustered the strength to break past $0.218, optimism was about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

Meanwhile, OBV (On-Balance Volume) was flatter than a pancake run over by a steamroller, reflecting demand so sluggish it could put Ambien to shame. Without a sudden surge in buying pressure, the bullish case was deader than disco.

Traders, Here’s Your Action Plan (Or Lack Thereof)

The strategy here is simple: Wait. Wait for PI to break past $0.218 and retest it as support-assuming, of course, that buyers suddenly develop an interest. A Bitcoin rally might help, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Alternatively, traders could wait for PI to break below $0.2-a move that would align with the current trend and open up targets at $0.191 and $0.185. Because why bet against gravity?

Final Thoughts (If You Can Call Them That)

  • Pi Network keeps rolling out features like a determined but ultimately unsuccessful baker.
  • None of this has stopped PI’s price from resembling a deflating balloon.

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2025-12-31 10:42