Okay, so these Pi Network people… they’re updating things. Big deal. Since the new year, like two updates. Two! It’s not like they discovered cold fusion, alright? They’re tweaking stuff. I mean, honestly, who even notices these things?
And now we’re gonna “review” it. Because what else do we have to do? Examine the price? Oh, don’t even get me STARTED on the price.
These Updates…
Apparently, now developers can add payments to their apps in…ten minutes? Ten minutes! My bagel takes longer to toast. And they’re thrilled. Of course, they’re thrilled. They built a ‘developer library’. Sounds…complicated. And it’s supposed to help them make…better things? I’m skeptical.
Then they announced another update. Even EASIER payments! You don’t even need to know what you’re doing! Just drag and drop. It’s like a toddler’s coding class. It only works with “Test-Pi” though, so it doesn’t matter yet. It’s “groundwork” for the real stuff. Yeah, right. Groundwork it is.
And get this: they’re giving 1,000 people 5 PI tokens. Five! It’s like giving someone five pennies and expecting them to start a business. They can “customize” things. Oh, joy.
Oh, and they added a “2025 Review” button. A button to look at…your mining from 2025. In 2026. I mean, who thought that was necessary? Seriously?
Tap “2025 Review” on the Pi app home screen next to the Chat icon to see your 2025 mining summary! This highlights your milestones within the network and celebrates your achievements in 2025.
– Pi Network (@PiCoreTeam) January 17, 2026
The Price…Don’t Ask
So, the price… it’s doing… poorly. Let’s just say that. It went down. Double digits, they say. Because of “geopolitical tension.” Like geopolitical tension cares about Pi Network. It was already practically at zero! Now it’s… slightly less at zero. They call it “$0.183”. It’s practically lint.
Some “analysts” are offering advice. Advice! Like they suddenly know what to do. “Change things!” they say. Groundbreaking analysis, really.
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2026-01-24 10:51