Trump’s Crypto Goldmine: $2.4B and Counting! šŸ’°šŸ˜²

To break it down for the layman, our dear Commander-in-Chief has reportedly pocketed around $14.4 million from his non-fungible tokens (NFTs) – a collection that surely rivals the Louvre in its artistic merit. Then there’s the $412.5 million from token sales via World Liberty Financial, a staggering $243 million from crypto dealings with the United Arab Emirates, and a modest $13 million from the Bitcoin mining venture known as American Bitcoin. But wait, there’s more! A jaw-dropping $1.3 billion has flowed into his coffers from the BTC treasury company, Trump Media and Technology Group, and let’s not forget the $385 million from the Official Trump (TRUMP) memecoin, which, if nothing else, proves that even in the world of digital currency, branding is everything. šŸ’ø

How Trump Tamed the Crypto Beast with a Stroke of a Pen 🐼

The intricate details of Operation Chokepoint were first brought to light by the astute Venture Capitalist, Nic Carter, who, in 2023, unveiled a new operation targeting the crypto space in the United States. He described it as a meticulously orchestrated effort to marginalize the industry and sever any connections it might have with the banking system. šŸ•µļøā€ā™‚ļø

Binance’s Zero-Fee Extravaganza: Crypto’s Carnival of Chaos! šŸŽŖšŸ’ø

In an official proclamation, Binance doth announce-with all the pomp of a circus ringmaster-zero maker and taker fees for the esteemed BNB/USDC, ADA/USDC, TRX/USDC, and XRP/USDC pairs. 🌟 But heed, dear reader, this boon is not for the common rabble! Nay, it is reserved for the VIP 2-9 users and the noble Spot Liquidity Providers, those knights of the order book. šŸ›”ļø

Binance Takes $64 Million Worth of Ethereum – What’s Going On?!

So, Ethereum-big surprise-broke through a major downward trendline. Apparently, it has no historical resistances above it. Great! As long as the market doesn’t totally collapse, there’s hope for some upside continuation. Honestly, though, I’m waiting for the next drama, because when doesn’t this thing go south out of nowhere?

How to Lose $75 Million From Your Couch: The Monero Mining Meltdown

I’d love to say the Monero community responded with poise, but mostly it was what you might expect from people who pride themselves on anonymity: a lot of posting, panic, and presumably a few new burner phones. On the day of reckoning, Qubic decided they deserved more than half the pie, and snatched up over 51% of Monero’s hashrate. People started muttering words like ā€œblockchain takeover,ā€ ā€œdouble-spending,ā€ and, my personal favorite, ā€œthings were just fine until THAT pool showed up.ā€

Pump.fun’s Meme Coin Triumph and the Snorter Token Hype Train šŸš‚šŸ”„

In the vast and often tumultuous world of Solana, where tokens rise and fall with the capriciousness of the tides, Pump.fun’s resurgence sends ripples of optimism through the $SOL market. Solana-based coins, ever the darlings of the speculative crowd, have seen gains ranging from 40% to 70% in the last 24 hours. And as if to add fuel to the fire, Snorter Token ($SNORT), with its ambitious $3 million presale, stands poised to capture the hearts and wallets of the crypto community. šŸ’ŖšŸš€

Ethereum Futures Explode to $118 Billion in July-And It’s Only the Beginning!

Ethereum Price Chart

And if you think that’s impressive, hold onto your hats-Ethereum’s open interest, the fancy term for all those active but unsettled contracts, surged a hefty 75%, landing at $5.21 billion in July from a mere $2.97 billion in June. Apparently, people aren’t just dabbling; they’re throwing their money in with the enthusiasm of someone betting on the underdog in a cake-eating contest.

How Safety Shot’s Big Bonk Boondoggle Broke Like a Fiddle šŸŽ»

Before making this questionable alliance, Safety Shot had the good sense to clear all its debts and stash over $15 million in cash – seems like they were feeling flush enough to bet on a gamble that’s about as stable as a drunk on a unicycle. Dominari Securities, LLC, was sittin’ in the corner advising like a wise old owl, watching the whole scheme unfold.