As the US government squanders taxpayer funds on bureaucratic farce, the crypto world gleefully ushers in a new era of ETFs-Canary’s Litecoin and Hedera offerings, Bitwise’s Solana Staking charade, and Grayscale’s belated Solana attempt. A veritable feast of financial jargon, served cold.
Now, let’s not get too carried away here. The Hedera Foundation, ever the subtle teaser, posted a cryptic message titled, “Time for an HBAR ETF?” Well, color me intrigued! It suggested that asset managers might be eyeing the launch of such a product, and, of course, included a delightful little nugget of paperwork-a filing by Canary Capital to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) for registration on Nasdaq. All the paperwork’s in order, folks, with a neat little S-1 amendment attached like a cherry on top-dated just last October 7, 2025, because who doesn’t love some good paperwork, right?
Yesterday, S&P Global, the self-proclaimed “financial babysitter,” handed Strategy a ‘B-’ grade. Not an A, but hey, it’s better than that time you forgot your math homework. 📚
October’s been a rollercoaster of emotions-more volatile than my ex’s mood swings. But hey, investors are apparently playing chess while the rest of us are still figuring out how to hold a fork. 🍴♟️
It all started with a flurry of screenshots on X, those glorious snapshots of the digital age, where the price of HYPE skyrocketed in minutes. From a humble $48 to $98, a jump so wild it could’ve been scripted by a bored novelist. The crypto community was aflutter, frantically speculating whether this was a cunningly orchestrated manipulation or a rogue glitch of the highest order.
The finalists include Christopher Waller, Michelle Bowman, Kevin Warsh, Kevin Hassett, and Rick Rieder, a blend of policy insiders, economists, and Wall Street veterans. Given Trump’s frequent criticism of Jerome Powell for being “too slow to cut rates,” the next Fed leader is expected to favor a more aggressive, pro-growth policy stance that aligns with Trump’s economic vision. 🚀
1️⃣ Bitcoin open interest is closing in on the $40B mark, signaling growing bullish momentum across the crypto market. Because nothing says “confidence” like betting on a digital ledger with the emotional stability of a cat on a trampoline.
The Tale Unfolds:
In a Manhattan courtroom Monday, Kalshi’s complaint declared, “You can’t boss us about-we’re under the CFTC’s loving gaze!” Cue the eye-roll. 🐰 (Who knew jumping through federal regulatory hoops could be so… exhausting?)
This ‘BIP’, as they call it-an abbreviation, it seems, for a lengthier and no doubt tedious document-authored by one Dathon Ohm (a name which, one cannot help but note, evokes a sense of… Ohm-inousness) proposes a temporary curtailment of the data which may be affixed to each transaction. It is a limitation born of the recent loosening of constraints, a loosening which, it appears, has opened the floodgates to…well, one shudders to think. The document, found at a place called this online repository, speaks of “Reduced Data Temporary Soft fork,” a phrase as unwieldy as a peasant’s cart laden with turnips.
