On November 1st, he scrawled on X: “Move your money into hard assets!”-as if he’s the financial equivalent of Charlie Bucket’s grandpa, selling golden tickets to disaster. He even dares to suggest Bitcoin might hit $1 million! Silver? “The biggest bargain!” he croons. Triple in price? Pfft. Maybe it’ll triple in confusion instead. 🤡
In a move as swift as a vampire’s strike, Romania’s ONJN has blacklisted Polymarket, the so-called “prediction market.” The regulator, with a flick of its bureaucratic wrist, deemed the platform a gambling parlor masquerading as a blockchain visionary. 🃏✨ This, my dear readers, comes on the heels of a $600 million betting frenzy during the Romanian elections. Democracy, it seems, is not just a game of thrones but also of tokens! 🏛️💰
“Next week’s looking real XRP coded”
Though the US and China now whisper of a truce, the cryptocurrency realm remains shrouded in gloom. Alas, the data reveals that American investors, once champions of digital gold, now tread with the caution of a mouse near a cat. The Coinbase Premium Gap, that fickle barometer of sentiment, has plunged into the crimson abyss, as if to mock the optimists who still cling to hope.
Ethereum. Two years of sighs and complaints from investors who prefer instant gratification. While Solana and its kin hog the headlines with their speed – flashy, like a cheap circus trick – Ethereum’s own fields have appeared fallow. NFTs collecting dust, DeFi volumes… wheezing. They call it the ‘old guard’ now, overvalued. Hmph. Like a well-worn boot is ‘overvalued’ compared to a pair of flimsy slippers. They’ll learn.
And the stories spilling forth! A Thodex CEO, rotting in a Turkish jail for eleven THOUSAND years… eleven thousand! One begins to wonder if the laws are meant to imprison or simply forget. Then there’s Custodia, banging on the Federal Reserve’s door-denied, of course. The powerful protect their own. And Tether? Laughing all the way to the bank, boasting profits that shame even the old, established institutions. The world is upside down, I tell you! 🙃
Our beloved DOGE seems to have lost a peppercorn of its weight, settling down 0.21% since yesterday. Over the last week, it’s lost more ground than a mischievous weasel in a henhouse, about 6.55%, by the numbers wizards bandy about.
Ethereum (ETH) just did a 0.28% shuffle this week. That’s like asking if your coffee cup spilled a teaspoon of joy. 😒
According to frantic scribblings on those aforementioned regulatory documents, Canary Capital’s version looks set to burst forth around the 13th or 14th of November. Bitwise’s will waddle along a few days later, between the 19th and 20th. Dates dictated by a 20-day timer that started ticking down now the SEC has momentarily run out of things to delay. (The government shutdown helped, oddly enough. Sometimes doing nothing is the best policy. Who knew? 🤔).
Why, in October, does one see that XRP has, alas, dropped by a further 11 percent, a development which could only be welcomed by the most sympathetic of financial analysts? This unsavory decline can largely be traced back to the noble efforts of long-term holders, who sought to distribute their fortune in the wake of an impending ether tempest.
