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Davis, bless his heart, pointed out a laundry list of reasons for this crypto calamity. Apparently, exchange-traded funds (ETFs) and those big fish investors known as whales have been selling like it’s Black Friday at a fire sale. Fear, he says, is reaching a fever pitch, and we’re entering the “capitulation phase”-which sounds like something out of a bad spy novel but is actually just investors throwing their hands up and saying, “Fine, take it all!” 🙌💥

This coin, once as invincible as a tank and twice as shiny, has now officially begun its waltz into correction territory, dropping more than 22% from its peak earlier this month. Honestly, it’s practically doing the limbo – how low can you go? The betting folks at Polymarket now fancy a 51% chance that Bitcoin might stumble further to $90,000 this year. Just a month ago, that was a mere 11%. The market’s mood swings are more dramatic than a Galsworthy heroine on a bad day. 🎭

Rising Open Interest? Check. Taker Buy dominance? Check. Buy-side strength pushing ZEC like a hot potato toward the $500 mark? Double-check! Let’s just hope this whale doesn’t need a lifeboat if things get rough. 🦈

And just when you thought he couldn’t get any more dramatic, Shytoshi Kusama surprises us all with an update that is nothing short of theatrical. His bio now reads like a manifesto: “Founder. Innovator. Visionary. Here to prove the liars wrong. Tune in.” Whoa, bold words, right? He’s here to fight the bad guys and prove all those who doubted him wrong. But wait-there’s more! His location? “Watching the Blue Kachina.” Yes, you heard that right. It sounds like a mysterious, otherworldly vacation spot-or perhaps a secret lair where world-changing ideas are born. But what does it mean? Is he summoning the aliens? Or just preparing for something huge? Oh, the suspense is unbearable! 😱

MoonPay, ever the generous host, declared on X that they would bestow upon the worthy $1,700 in SOL, with ten lucky winners selected by the whimsical hand of fate (or perhaps a rogue dice-rolling algorithm). One imagines the winners will be as jubilant as a toad in a waistcoat after discovering a £10 note in their umbrella stand.

IREN, that audacious titan of Bitcoin mining and data centers, now perches at $75.3-a 1,200% leap from its nadir! Its market cap, a staggering $19 billion, would make even the most jaded capitalist blush. But let us not forget: this is a company that once eked out a mere $7 million in AI colocation revenue. Progress, indeed! 🚀

The air grew heavy with the scent of treachery as whales, those leviathans of liquidity, began their ritualistic unloading, while treasury firms-cloaked in the garb of fiscal prudence-betrayed their own kind. Sequans Communications, a name once spoken with reverence, now stood exposed as a Judas, selling 970 units of BTC to redeem half its debt, reducing its hoard from 3,234 to a paltry 2,264. Ah, the poetry of financial penance!

Bitcoin started November like a sad clown-sliding from $110k during Asian hours. The culprit? OGs (Original Gangsters of the blockchain) dumping BTC like it’s expired sushi. This “profit-taking” trend has been brewing since October, turning BTC’s rally into a slow-burn comedy of errors. 🍣💸

Back in April 2025, these London lads announced their grand design to treat Bitcoin like it’s the crown jewel of their treasury. 🏰💎 They reckon it’s the best hedge against the slow, sad slide of fiat currency-you know, that stuff we call “money” when we’re not busy watching it depreciate faster than a politician’s promises. 📉

These acquisitions, one might surmise, would grant Mastercard a most convenient onchain payments stack, enabling it to leap from pilot to production with the grace of a well-timed waltz. 🕺