Bitmine Immersion Technologies announced on Monday that their total assets-crypto, cash, and equity-now sit at a cool $14.2 billion. Their ethereum stash alone is 4.144 million ETH, which is roughly 3.43% of the circulating supply. Fun fact: they’re basically the Oprah of ETH-“You get some ETH, and you get some ETH, and YOU get some ETH!” 🎁
Apparently, XRP is on this “Staircase to Valhalla.” 🏰 No, it’s not a new ride at Disney World. It’s his fancy way of saying it’s gonna climb in phases, not just shoot up like a rocket. Because, you know, stairs are way more exciting than elevators. 🙄
And get this-this wasn’t just a post-ETF glow-up. Nope, XRP was already out here serving looks by mid-2025, long before those spot XRP ETFs launched in the U.S. in November. Speaking of ETFs, they raked in $1.18 billion from mid-November to early January. That’s more than your aunt’s Black Friday haul. 🛍️
In his 2026 New Year’s address, Kitao mentioned the “cryptocurrency ecosystem” as a critical component of the group’s current financial health. A most exquisite way to phrase it, wouldn’t you agree? 🤩
Last week’s close near $91,550? Highest since mid-November. Impressive! 🎉 Back in November, BTC pulled a dramatic breakup with this level, leaving investors heartbroken and meme stock traders sobbing into their yolo portfolios. Now it’s back, like an ex who suddenly remembers how great you are.
Unlike its more boisterous brethren, the price of our dear SHIB has taken a tumble of 2.51% over the past day. Oh, the humanity! 🎭💸
Key takeaways (for those with neither time nor patience for subtlety):
Speaking at the New Year’s shindig at the Tokyo Stock Exchange, Katayama anointed 2026 as Japan’s “digital year,” a grand opera of innovation where crypto shall pirouette neatly into the existing financial ballet. No wild, untamed blockchain bucking broncos here, thank you. 🎭
The broader crypto sphere, meanwhile, stirs with the vigor of a spring thaw. Bitcoin (BTC), that old titan, inches closer to $93,000, while Ethereum (ETH) simmers near $3,200. Vitalik Buterin, the oracle of Ethereum, has declared the blockchain trilemma conquered-a feat akin to taming a wild stallion with a teacup. One can almost hear the clinking of virtual champagne glasses, though the hangover may yet come.
After a long period of fear, investor feelings about cryptocurrencies are starting to improve. The CoinMarketCap Crypto Fear and Greed Index recently moved to a “neutral” position, which hasn’t happened since October.