GBPJPY

The macro winds, fickle and unforgiving, converge upon the narrow strait of the Federal Reserve’s September policy meeting, a gathering that promises to be as consequential as it is unpredictable. 🏛️ The FOMC, that august body of monetary sages, convenes on September 16-17, with futures markets-those harbingers of collective delusion-pricing in a high probability of a rate cut. Yet, the Fed’s oracles, ever cautious, intone the mantra of “data-dependence,” a phrase as reassuring as it is ambiguous.

Now, Hemi claims to have invented the “Hemi Virtual Machine,” which is apparently some kind of magic that embeds a full Bitcoin node inside an Ethereum Virtual Machine. The goal? To combine Bitcoin’s security with Ethereum’s flexibility. Yeah, because that’s what the world was missing: more Ethereum-style smart contracts on Bitcoin. They’re apparently enabling applications for earning, borrowing, and trading on Bitcoin, because clearly, that was the missing piece of the puzzle.

What’s behind this mass exodus? Are the SHIB tokens quitting their day job and running away to join the circus? It’s making the cryptoverse itch with curiosity. Supply vanishing from exchanges like lollipops at a dentist’s office… Oh, something wicked (or wonderful) this way comes.

Launched, with a fervour one might expect for a particularly eligible bachelor, on the Solana blockchain on the twenty-first of August, the YZY token experienced a brief, and frankly rather impertinent, rise of fourteen hundred percent before tumbling downwards with remarkable speed, losing over eighty percent of its initial value. A cautionary tale if ever there was one!

And lo! The moon beckons, or at least a very ambitious hilltop. Robinhood’s latest micro futures have added zing to the market’s confidence, as open interest skyrockets like a balloon at a kid’s party. Yet, as with any good scandal, the regulatory storm clouds hover-poised over Solana’s ETF filings, which have again been delayed by the SEC’s ever-charming dithering. A little drama keeps the headlines spicy, after all! 😏

After flirting briefly with gains, Cardano found itself swarmed by sellers near $0.9650. Like Bitcoin and Ethereum before it, ADA succumbed to gravity, dipping below $0.920 and $0.900. Bears pushed it even lower, testing the waters at $0.830, where bulls seemed to whisper, “Not today.” A minor recovery brought it above the 23.6% Fibonacci retracement level of the recent decline-but don’t get too excited yet.

This article is from Theminermag, a trade publication for the cryptocurrency mining industry, focusing on the latest news and research on institutional bitcoin mining companies. 🧨

In a tapestry of words aired on the humble stage of the Paul Barron Podcast, our intrepid Mr. Kwok took to explaining, with the aplomb of a seasoned raconteur, that XRP is cradled by a vast coterie of devotees to the tune of swift and seamless transactions. Per the scrolls of Coinbase’s recent market soothsayings, this rambunctious Ripple joins the illustrious duo of Bitcoin and Ethereum in the narrative of most fervently sought-after cryptocurrencies. 🎭

James Seyffart, that clever clog at Bloomberg ETF, quipped on X that advisers are “dominating the known holders” of Ether ETFs, piling in $1.3 billion-or 539,000 ETH-in Q2. That’s a 68% jump from last quarter, folks! One might say they’ve traded their top hats for crypto wallets. 🎩→👛

The idea is banks can use USDC to settle transactions but still pretend everything is normal with their good old fiat currencies. It’s like putting a tracksuit on a penguin. It’s still a penguin, but…slightly more hip? They say it cuts costs and speeds things up. I’m waiting for the part where *I* see lower fees. Just saying.