GBPJPY

Ether’s profitability metrics have descended to depths that, in the annals of history, have heralded local bottoms. 🌊

Behold, the prophecy of yore was true! Paradigm’s HYPE hoard, a near-billion-dollar sonnet, crowns them as the sovereign of this digital realm. One might say they’ve penned a cheque for the future, all while the market yawns. 🧙♂️

Ah, the market! What a glorious, unpredictable mess it is. Today, CoinDesk’s numbers are as cryptic as ever, offering a rare glimpse of the chaos at the heart of the CoinDesk 20 Index.

The creation of new crypto wallets, my dear, is rather like the guest list at a society soirée: it reveals who is truly in vogue. When this list swells dramatically, as it has with XRP, one might infer a renewed fascination or a clandestine accumulation. Though, let us not be naïve-these wallets may also be the result of privacy whims or key migrations. Still, such a rapid flurry hints at the retail rabble joining the dance. 🎭

The cryptocurrency frontier, wilder than the San Joaquin Valley in July, grows “legitimate” by the hour. If legitimacy is just tech giants betting on chaos, that is. 🤡

While Bitcoin bleeds like a punctured balloon after its brief flirtation with infinity, gold-ah, gold!-has seemingly paused its nosedive at the $4,000 mark. A triumph? Perhaps. But the Stochastic RSI, those sullen market prophets, hint the party’s not over. Two weeks of data suggest gold may yet tumble to $3,600, where even Scrooge McDuck might wince.

On a Thursday steeped in whispers of the market, Wood, that sage of Ark Invest, took to CNBC’s “Squawk Box,” her voice a blend of prophecy and pragmatism. She spoke of stablecoins, those silent titans, whose rise has eclipsed the role once reserved for Bitcoin, a celestial body now dimmed by the glow of its kin.

Market sage Casi Trades, a Twitter/X luminary, recently opined that the recent Mastercard partnership euphoria was “premature.” At Ripple’s Swell 2025 gala in New York, the company unveiled a collaboration with WebBank, Gemini, and Mastercard to test RLUSD stablecoins for credit card settlements-a public relations coup if ever there was one.