In a statement that screams “we’re not just mining Bitcoin, we’re *marrying* it,” MARA announced they sold some fancy convertible senior notes (0% interest, because why pay more when you can pay nothing? 😏) to institutional buyers. Due in 2032, because who doesn’t love a long-term commitment? 💍
It’s astonishing that the last time countries standardized their economic measurements was 2008, a pre-Bitcoin era 📆. Fast-forward to today, and the System of National Accounts 2025 (2025 SNA) has brought some much-needed clarity on digitalization 📊. The IMF, in cahoots with the United Nations Statistical Commission and other organizations, has given the green light to this update 🌱.
According to these modern-day alchemists, Satoshi’s treasure chest likely holds 1,125,150 BTC. That’s enough to buy a small island 🏝️ or, if you’re feeling frugal, approximately 17,000 years’ worth of artisan lattes. 🧵☕
The weekly chart for Bitcoin Dominance (BTC.D) looks like a rollercoaster that’s been stuck on the “up” track since Q3 2022. Except this time, the dip was so deep, it’s like the market took a deep breath and said, “Okay, maybe we’re not done yet.” 🎢
Well, well, well! What do you know? Circle’s got a new trick up its sleeve—this time, it’s a “native” stablecoin called USDC and a “upgraded” Cross-Chain Transfer Protocol (CCTP v2) on HyperliquidX. Bless their hearts, they’re trying to make cross-chain token transfers as fast as a squirrel on a caffeine rush and as secure as … Read more
According to a recent report by Fortune, the realm of digital assets has found a new darling: companies that hoard Bitcoin like dragons guarding their treasure. 🐉 A trend so hot, it could melt the Arctic!
Imagine this: the stock market is a rollercoaster, and MSTR just took a nosedive, plummeting 14% in two weeks! 😱 Below the 50-day moving average? Oh, it’s *below* alright, like a submarine in a teacup. 🛳️☕
They got themselves a plan, see, an aggressive one. And a way with liquidity. Ain’t flyin’ under the radar no more, not by a long shot.
180 Life Sciences Corp. (Nasdaq: ATNF) has decided that curing diseases was too mainstream. Instead, they’re launching ETHzilla, a creature that’s half corporate strategy, half cryptocurrency chaos. 🚀
Allow me, with all the flair of a society columnist prowling a cryptographically secure ball, to recount the most scandalous milestones of our dear, misunderstood Ethereum.