And look, the next few days are going to be crucial. Will altcoins get their groove back, or will they just keep sitting in the corner while Bitcoin takes all the glory? Stay tuned. (Spoiler: It’s probably going to be Bitcoin, but who knows?)
Well, good Mr. President Trump, don’t you seem to have a new trick up your sleeve? You’ve spun your magic lantern and revealed a “New Structure Bill” aimed at modernizing our beloved financial system. You’re calling the old stuff “outdated” and plan to craft us a new one, maybe built from the same wood our Uncle Sam cut loose for his pet rattlesnake’s playground. Planeth to move everything, I suppose, digitalized onto the blockchain like a train headed straight for Oz. Looks like we’re all singing the crypto ballad now, aiming to enhance transparency, efficiency, and God’s sake, global competitiveness. Isn’t the world just a thrilling venture when we’re told it’s time for a change! 🎭
Pi Network is getting close to launching its Mainnet, after a successful first test phase proved the network is stable.
Could we be barreling toward a fiscal waltz where Bitcoin, that digital phoenix, plummets 20%, while Silver, the silver-tongued charmer, winks at investors with its tangible allure? 🦊
Jack Dorsey, that paragon of innovation, proclaimed that merchants can now exchange Bitcoin for fiat, or fiat for Bitcoin, or simply stare at their screens in existential confusion. 🤷♂️
BitMine Immersion Technologies (BMNR), the crypto world’s answer to a gold-digging pirate, has announced its Ethereum (ETH) holdings have hit 3,505,723 tokens. Their total loot? A cool $13.2 billion, including ETH, 192 Bitcoin, a $61 million stake in Eightco Holdings, and $398 million in cash. Arrr, matey! 🏴☠️
So, Mantle’s layer 2 platform (fancy, right?) announced that its native token, MNT, is now chilling in Porto, Anchorage Digital’s self-custody wallet. Because who doesn’t want a wallet with a federal charter? 🏦✨
Not one to shy from spectacle, SUI Group-an institution with official crypto standing (and a little something called the Sui Foundation)-is eager to offer “institutional-grade exposure” to Sui’s blockchain playground. They’ve even launched the first SUI treasury plan, probably with less fuss but more flair.
On the XRP/USD chart, it’s hovering around $2.31. 🤑 Mattsby’s like, “This has never happened in XRP’s history!” Well, Larry’s take? Maybe it’s just tired of being the underdog. Or maybe it’s finally found its purpose in life. Who knows? 🤷♂️
Whilst the macro financial markets wept in bearish despair, the crypto realm, ever the maverick, danced to its own tune, with tokens soaring like jesters on a sugar high. Behold, we present to thee three such tokens, stars of this absurd spectacle, that may yet continue their merry romp post-shutdown. 🎉
