GBPJPY

Net income in the year ended June 30 soared to $86.9 million-up from last year’s loss of $28.9 million, which was presumably spent on existential dread and energy drinks. Revenue doubled to a record $501 million, proving once again that Australians will monetize anything, even abstract mathematical concepts.

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The Pyth network, in a volume as hearty as a Christmas turkey, traded a whopping 8,600% more than any scribe could first fathom. Distinctly, negotiators of futures found solace in PYTH’s embrace, with an all-time high in open interest swelling to $188.34 million. Indeed, more than twice over the prior day. A majority held position with eyes towards the heavens, further gleaming at bullish prospects. 🦀

And what’s a ticker symbol without a bit of intrigue? Behold, the BIXIU! Like the name of a spicy ramen order you’d whisper on the count of three. While our heroes haven’t chosen a company to merge with just yet, they’re looking to court young upstarts in the shiny realms of digital assets, Web3 technologies, and those blockchain-based innovations that sound like they were dreamed up by the ghost of Alan Turing. 💻✨

Delving into the arcane world of chart patterns, such as falling wedges and descending triangles – truly the Russian ballet of the financial world – Pal jests that these have historically heralded significant surges. With a sage nod, he reminisces: in 2021, XRP dallied around $0.20 before taking off, akin to a young girl stepping onto a Winter Palace ballroom for the first time. Alas, he wonders if we are to see such an occasion once again as the token hovers precariously before a potential breakout.

The U.S. government, in a fit of what one can only assume is midlife crisis, has decided that key economic indicators belong on the blockchain. Led by the Department of Commerce, this initiative leans heavily on the infrastructure of Chainlink (LINK) and Pyth Network (PYTH). One can’t help but wonder if they’ve finally run out of filing cabinets. 🗄️

“If I want to send you stablecoins, your bank has to figure it out-or you’ll use another institution that will.” Fair warning, folks. Banks: either adapt or become the financial equivalent of a floppy disk. 💾

Julio Moreno, a man burdened with the task of quantifying this madness at CryptoQuant, declares it a “significant source of investor exposure.” Exposure! As if one is exposed to a contagious disease of enthusiasm. He speaks of volumes, reaching – brace yourselves – $5 billion to $10 billion on “active days.” Such numbers… They feel less like financial metrics and more like the counting of souls being slowly drawn into the digital abyss. 💀

The Bitcoin Infrastructure Acquisition Corp Ltd, a creature of the SPAC world, plans to offer 20 million shares at $10 apiece, a price so reasonable it might as well be a charity donation to a man with a Bitcoin grin. Their mission? To merge with some unnamed company, presumably one that can turn blockchain into bacon, or at least a profit.