On a chilly January 8th, the Bitcoin Core crew decided to spice things up by handing the keys to TheCharlatan. 🎩✨ Yes, that’s his name, and no, he’s not here to pull rabbits out of hats-just to keep the blockchain ship sailing smoothly. First new appointment in nearly three years! Someone must’ve finally remembered the password. 🔐
It appears that last week, the digital asset investment scene turned from a fiesta into a ghost town faster than Bertie Wooster can misplace his monocle. Recent figures suggest that the eager inflows seen earlier this year have evaporated into thin air, even as some quirky altcoins and new ETF prospects attempt a comeback-like a drunk trying to dance after midnight. 💃🕺
If you think Bitcoin’s cycles are like your ex’s texts-repetitive and cringe-you’re not wrong. But now, the king of chaos is about to throw a curveball even Wall Street can’t predict. Alphractal, a data wizardry firm, claims BTC is brewing a “rare event” that would make a magician weep. 🎩✨
Meanwhile, the crypto market, ever the drama queen, kicked off the week with the vigor of a caffeinated squirrel. 🪙 Privacy tokens like Monero (XMR) soared 17%, proving that in 2025, the only thing hotter than a supernova is the desire to evade one’s ex-spouse’s alimony tracker. Bitcoin (BTC), that temperamental diva, flirted with $92,000 during Asia’s tea-time before collapsing to $91,743-still up 1%, because in crypto, losing is winning. Ethereum (ETH) played the tragic hero, attempting to reclaim $3,200 like a knight charging a dragon, only to stall at $3,165. It now trades at $3,154, up 2%-a Pyrrhic victory if ever there was one.
With its price hitting a jaw-dropping all-time high of nearly $600, you might think we’re at the peak of a financial renaissance. But wait! Just as quickly as it climbed, it decided to take a breather and now hovers around $577, which is still a respectable figure if you’re into digital coins that sound like they could be the name of a new energy drink. 🍹
This influx’ll bring liquidity, sure, but also price swings sharp enough to split an anvil. Here’s what to watch for, lest your portfolio weep for joy or sorrow.
“Will we return to $50,000?” the masses whispered, clutching their screens like talismans. Once, a 50% plunge was as common as rain in Moscow. But in 2026, Bitcoin was no longer a trinket for the desperate; it was a fortress, its walls built by institutions, states, and algorithms. To see $50,000 again? That would require not just a bear market-but the collapse of the entire financial universe. A cosmic joke, perhaps.
BeInCrypto has analysed three such altcoins that the investors must watch in the second week of January. Yes, three. Because one is never enough when you’re trying to pretend you understand technology and profit at the same time. 🚀
These inflows strutted upward by 145 percent-from $64.5 billion in 2024 to this gargantuan tally-snapping the long drought and crowning five years of financial theater with a thunderous bow. TRM Labs proclaims the scene, as if the heavens themselves tugged at the curtain. 🎭💸
In a post that’s basically a love letter to blockchain independence, Buterin insists Ethereum should be safe, useful, and completely unbothered by human error. Imagine a world where the blockchain doesn’t need a CEO, a team, or even a coffee machine to keep running. 🤯
