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If you’re keeping score (which, let’s be honest, someone’s paid to do), the Austin-based firm expects a fresh bitcoin drop after closing its business combo with Cantor Equity Partners Inc.—a SPAC with a name only an investment banker’s mother could love. Sprinkle in some institutional investor cash announced since April, and they’re swimming in roughly $680 million in new coins. So, it’s raining bitcoin and everyone’s getting—well, except you—very, very rich. 🚀

Tron (TRX), now flirting with $0.3500, has risen by a cheeky 75% from its lowest point this year. Meanwhile, the broader crypto market retreats like a shy guest at a house party where everyone else is wearing monocles and discussing NFTs. Bravo, Tron. Bravo.

In a move that would make even the most seasoned crypto enthusiast raise an eyebrow, BTCS Inc. – the self-proclaimed “blockchain technology company” – has gone on a shopping spree. They’ve just scooped up a staggering 14,240 ETH, and the crypto world can’t help but wonder: is this the start of something even bigger? According to Coin Bureau, this recent acquisition has set tongues wagging all over social media, and who can blame them? When a company as bold as BTCS makes a move like this, it’s practically a headline waiting to happen.

Introducing “Pay with Crypto”—the payment solution that’s about to make your accountant weep. U.S. businesses can now accept payments in more than 100 cryptocurrencies. Because who doesn’t want to deal with a digital currency that sounds like a character from a sci-fi movie? 🚀

Bitcoin must take out resistance at $120,000 to trigger a rally to new all-time highs. Or else the market will cry. 😢

Meanwhile, some other SHIB-related account decided it was time for an explainer on why you, yes YOU, should help provide liquidity into the SHIB-BONE pool on ShibaSwap. You know, because nothing screams “fun” like explaining blockchain liquidity pools at 3 AM while eating cold pizza. 🍕

Grab a coffee, dear reader, and let us delve into the labyrinthine corridors of global finance, where the US is venturing into the murky waters of stablecoins, amidst a grandiose attempt at monetary engineering to weaken the dollar. Max Keiser, ever the sage of the digital realm, perceives Bitcoin playing a rather unconventional role in this drama.

This isn’t just a fancy trick; it’s a bridge—no, an actual sturdy crossing—linking the world of DeFi with the hallowed halls of big money infrastructure. Now, institutions can toss their ETH into the fray, not just as a digital token but as a potion brimming with yield—and, let’s be honest, a bit of magic—without having to babysit your validator like it’s a newborn. Yes, flexibility and yield, all in one blender, because who said you can’t have your crypto and eat it too? 🥧

According to a freshly baked report from Standard Chartered, institutional treasuries clutch a mere 1% of the total circulating supply of ETH, a figure that seems almost quaint. But make no mistake, dear reader, this is merely the chrysalis, not the butterfly. The bank predicts we might soon witness a veritable corporate stampede, with businesses hoarding up to 10% of ETH. Let the speculative frenzy commence! 🥳

Analyst Ali Martinez posted on X that these heavy hitters snapped up 130 million DOGE when the price dipped, according to Santiment’s data. It’s like they’re predicting a storm and stocking up on popcorn. Moves like this usually hint at big swings, and honestly, the timing is suspiciously perfect – right before all this macro nonsense. Because why not add fuel to the fire? 😂