Young Nic Puckrin – a chap who’s apparently counted digital beans for Coin Bureau – suggests this little bounce is merely investors rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. A reflexive spasm, he calls it, after last year’s rather unseemly sell-off. As if people are buying Bitcoin because they believe in it! Preposterous. It’s portfolio rebalancing, naturally. A sensible activity, akin to rearranging the dust motes in a sunbeam. 🙄
while short-term holders near profitability and technical patterns hint at possible trend continuation, repeated resistance may limit immediate upside. 🧱📉
Wintermute, that oracle of over-the-counter trading, laments the fleeting allure of low-cap tokens. Once hailed as high-yield darlings, they now vanish like smoke, their brief moments of glory snuffed out by the cold wind of pragmatism. 🌫️
In the grand tradition of Gorky’s tales of industrial grit, Membrane Labs has rolled out a workflow that’s less “financial innovation” and more “capitalist steamroller.” Starting this week, clients can exchange Bitcoin and Ether futures, cleared at CME Group, into spot crypto via a single EFP transaction. It’s like watching a magician pull a rabbit from a hat-if the rabbit were a blockchain and the hat was a custody vault. 🎩🐇
Across the UAE, Europe, and even the UK, the rules have tightened faster than a snake in a boot. 🐍 Token sales? Gone. Structured, compliance-driven schemes? Here to stay. It’s like swapping a carnival for a boardroom-no more confetti, just spreadsheets. 📊
On a Tuesday (because why not?), Franklin Templeton announced that their two Rule 2a-7 government money market funds are now ready for their close-up in the world of regulated digital finance. 🌐 But don’t worry, they’re still as traditional as a cup of Earl Grey-SEC-registered and all. The goal? To make these funds as cozy as a cashmere sweater for stablecoin reserve management and blockchain-based fund distribution. Because who doesn’t love a good mashup of old and new? 🎶
Thailand is tightening the screws on money flows as the baht grows crankier by the day. This week, the Bank of Thailand rolled out a broad crackdown on grey money, unregulated digital gold trading, and crypto-related activity, arguing that unchecked flows are rattling the currency’s cage and revealing deeper cracks in the economy-like a swimming pool full of economic metaphors and a very tired lifeguard.
Turns out, the stock and crypto markets are as fickle as a cat in a room full of laser pointers. The U.S. inflation data for December was about as exciting as watching paint dry-but in a good way! Prices rose slower than a sloth on a Sunday, giving everyone hope that the Federal Reserve might finally take a breather. 🧘♂️ Economists had their calculators out, but the numbers still came in slightly below forecasts. Who knew inflation could be so… underwhelming?
At the moment of our curtain draw, about 12:10 p.m. Eastern on Jan. 13, XMR doth trade at $661 per coin after a fleeting caress of $692 an hour ere. 🕰️💹
In but the first two days, these assets attracted a dazzling $1.5 billion, as if they were the toast of the town. Yet, just like that one friend who always oversells their vacation stories, the market sharply reversed its charms. 🥴