BitMine, the Bitcoin mining firm that’s now basically a Wall Street bank with a crypto bro vibe, just bought $140 million worth of Ethereum. Through FalconX, which is like the crypto version of a shady broker who’s definitely not on the FBI’s Most Wanted list. 🧠
BeInCrypto, your trusty guide through this winter wonderland of finance, has sleuthed out three altcoins poised for a “Santa” rally. Grab your hot cocoa and let’s dive in! ☕️
First stop: Tron, with 50 million tokens ready to roll. Ethereum’s next on the list, because why not? 🚀
Novogratz, with his nose twitching like a fox on the hunt, declares that it’s the price action, not the sentiment, that’s doing the talking. 🦊💬 He points his wand at Bitcoin’s dramatic tango around the $100,000 mark, calling it a “psychological level” that lured buyers like a honey trap for greedy bears. 🐻🍯 Oh, the folly of it all! Once the party popped, the selling spree began, sending prices tumbling faster than a witch’s broomstick in a storm. 🧹⛈️
And what’s this? A sale of their shiny new SPACE tokens that’s as unpredictable as a cat on a hot tin roof? Well, hold onto your hats! The sale kicks off on December 17 at 6:00 PM UTC, and it’s got the makings of a spectacle. They’ve got a fancy market-clearing price model, which means everyone pays roughly the same, like a barroom scuffle over the last bottle – fair enough, I suppose. 💰
Mark your calendars for February, when this “Everything” protocol will layer permissionless lending and borrowing atop the classic AMM xy = k model. The goal? To turn the wild, fragmented DeFi chaos into a capital-efficient barnyard. With one smart contract and a single liquidity pool, it’ll let you swap, borrow, and trade with leverage – all while pretending to be oracle-less. Sounds like a circus act with no net. 🎢
Gao and his gang gathered nearly $170 million-enough to buy a castle or at least a very fancy pineapple-by spinning tales of wizardry in the crypto universe. But it was more smoke and mirrors than actual treasure. Secretly, Gao was cosying up to a side scheme, buying BitClout tokens at a discount and selling them at a devilishly higher price-pocketing just shy of $2 million in secret profit. Sneaky, sneaky! 🕵️♂️💸
“Cryptocurrencies? Money? In Russia? Ha! That’s about as likely as finding a decent cup of tea at a Higgs Boson party,” Aksakov quipped at a press conference hosted by TASS. “They’re investment tools, not shopping carts. So, unless you’re planning to buy a spaceship with your rubles, don’t bother.” 🚀🛒
Ah, Hut 8 (HUT), the bitcoin and AI miner with dreams bigger than its britches. It’s struck a deal with Fluidstack, an AI infrastructure firm, for a whopping 245 megawatts of IT capacity at its River Bend campus in Louisiana. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any juicier, Fluidstack gets a Right of First Offer for an additional 1,000 megawatts as the campus grows. That’s right-1,000. 🌪️
And for those cheeky enough to try and jailbreak the system, X has drawn a line in the sand. Attempt to circumvent the algorithms with “prompt engineering,” “injection,” or other tech wizardry, and expect a hefty fine-up to $15,000 per million posts scraped in a mere 24 hours. Talk about a penalty that’s more substantial than most people’s quarterly bonuses! 💸
