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In a missive procured with all the stealth of an old man sneaking a biscuit from the jar, the World Federation of Exchanges (WFE) eloquently lamented that tokenized equities-a charming concept where digital tokens aim to represent magnificent shares-fail to bestow upon their holders the glorious rights of actual shareholders. Oh, the tragedy! This, they argue, is akin to selling a dream while throwing in a side of nightmares. 😱

Suppose we consider such memetic pecuniary tokens as Dogecoin and Shiba Inu. They were birthed in jest and satirical jest, their origination lightly veiled in the fabric of humor. A robust cadre of digital jesters and internet pioneers propelled their ascent; Dogecoin, for instance, first soared in 2013 as a lighthearted ruse mocking Bitcoin, only to captivate legions owing to its benevolent grin and the rather grandiloquent patronage of figures such as Elon Musk. The saga of Shiba Inu followed similarly, esteemed albeit pretentiously as the “Dogecoin Killer,” riding upon the coattails of its predecessor’s triumphs.

In a dramatic episode of Coin Stories, hosted by the ever-enthusiastic Nathalie Brunell, Preston Pysh-who, one must assume, has a Ph.D. in Market Mysteries-delivers a diagnosis that rivals the plot twists of a Dickens novel. According to Pysh, the reason Bitcoin’s ascent resembles a shy teenager at a dance-half-hearted and avoiding eye contact-is not because the holders have lost faith, but because those clever “fast-money” firms are playing a game of volatility hide-and-seek, slashing and suppressing the very nature of price explosions with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer wielded by a ballet dancer.

One trader, who goes by the rather fanciful moniker @WhaleEverything, remarked with a flair suggestive of optimistic buoyancy, “Ah, SHIB clings steadfastly to key support! Should it maintain this level, we might very well witness a resurgence akin to those glorious bull runs of yore.” In truth, the resolve of Shiba Inu to endure the tempests of market volatility while preserving its esteemed position as one of the grandest meme coins speaks volumes about its character and resilience within the vibrant crypto community.

Ah, Bitcoin! Once a gallant knight at $124K, now finds itself in a rather precarious position, grappling with a cocktail of fear and stubborn resilience among its loyal wallet holders. 🍸

Bitcoin began the week in a frothy $116,700 mood but slumped to $112,000 by Thursday. After hitting a record $124,290 on August 14, it now languishes 10% below that peak. One must wonder: is this a mere waltz or a full-blown market collapse? 🤶

It all boils down to that poor, put-upon $0.21 support. If it holds, we might merrily gambol back towards $0.25. If it breaks… well, put it this way, it might be time to hide the credit cards and reconsider one’s life choices. 🍷

Final Thoughts (Or, as I like to call it, Panic Station)

So the forecast is… no one knows. Groundbreaking. It’s either breakout or breakdown, rally or crash, moon or… not moon. We must all sit here, clutching our phones, watching the whales, and trying not to refresh the portfolio app every four seconds. It’s utterly absurd and completely terrifying. But what else is one to do on a Tuesday? V. exhausting.

The delays highlight pressure on the Ethereum network. Normally, unstaking takes three to five days. Current applicants face up to 40 days.

According to CoinMarketCap (because apparently that’s gospel), HYPE is chilling at $46.37-just 7% away from its all-time high of $49.86. Investors are acting like they’re watching a tennis match, waiting for the ball to drop so they can scream “I told you so!” Spoiler alert: nobody cares. 🎾💸

Metaplanet, a company that seems to have more Bitcoin than common sense, has once again dipped its toes into the crypto pool, adding 103 shiny new coins to its collection, worth about $11.8 million. 🎉