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Through a partnership with the enigmatic fintech firm Superstate, Galaxy’s Class A common stock, GLXY, is now available as digital tokens on the Solana blockchain. A marvel of modern ingenuity, where paper certificates are replaced by cryptographic keys, and the concept of “ownership” is redefined by the whims of decentralized ledgers. One can only imagine the thrill of trading shares while the sun sleeps, a 24/7 market for those who have never known the luxury of rest.

BingX, the crypto exchange that’s basically the Liz Lemon of Web3 AI (smart, sassy, and always ahead of the curve), is throwing a Listing Carnival that’s more exciting than a Bossypants audiobook. And guess what? You could snag a piece of the 900K $WLFI pie! 🥧✨

Enter Bitcoin Hyper ($HYPER), the project that’s basically Bitcoin’s upgrade button if the blockchain world had a “reinstall OS” option. Picture this: It takes Bitcoin’s clunky, gas-guzzling engine and swaps it for a Tesla Roadster. Suddenly, you’re minting wrapped Bitcoin on a Solana-powered express lane, using it for DeFi shenanigans and NFTs like you’re in a crypto-themed *Mission: Impossible* spinoff. 🚀

According to DNB’s official press release (which they probably sent with a sigh), the company-officially known as Aux Cayes Fintech Co.-was caught red-handed between July 2023 and August 2024. But don’t worry, the fines are just for the “old” days, before the mighty MiCA crypto regulations came into play. Phew! 😅

Kite is basically building the “agentic web,” which sounds suspiciously like the web finally deciding to grow a personality and some serious trust issues. Today, they dropped Kite AIR – a fancy name for a nerdy cocktail of programmable agent identities, native stablecoin payments (because who trusts regular money nowadays?), and policies that keep your internet agents behaving. Think components like Agent Passport and an Agent App Store. Yes, apps for apps, because inception is now tech’s favorite pastime.

Whale Alert, that vigilant sentinel of the digital seas, cries out: “From the depths of an unknown wallet, a leviathan rises, bearing XRP to Coinbase’s shores!” 🚨🐋

In 2010, Bitcoin was worth a few cents. One year later, it hit $20. In six years, it was $17,000, and now it’s sitting at over $100K, after hitting an ATH of $123K in July. A triumph of modern finance, or a folly of the ages? Only time shall tell. 🕰️

This move, of course, is all about lowering the barriers to futures trading. Because nothing says “easy entry” like betting on the future price of something you don’t even own, with borrowed money, in a market that makes roller coasters look tame. But hey, who are we to judge? If you’re into high-stakes gambling with a side of financial wizardry, this might just be your cup of tea ☕.

The company headed by CEO Khing Oei has signed a legally binding agreement with MKB Nedsense NV, a Dutch investment firm specializing in small and medium-sized businesses, for a reverse listing on Euronext Amsterdam. Meanwhile, the Treasury, with backing from early bitcoin advocates like Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss, intends to take the lead in shaping Europe’s strategy regarding bitcoin.

After weeks of refusing to do much of anything except maybe stare at its own reflection, DOGE finally decided to break free from that tidy triangle formation. Thanks to analyst Ali Martinez, we now know this rebellion could send prices south of the border to a charming $0.17. Because what’s more fun than watching your investment drop? 😅