GBPJPY

‘Good golly!’ exclaimed the astute analysts from Token Terminal, as they spotted this peculiar period of proliferation. Since the foggy dawn of January 2024, the stablecoin supply on Ethereum had more than doubled, frolicking to an astronomical all-time high of $165 billion! Oh, how the little green monster laughed as it grew and ballooned! Although, depending on the junior alchemist fetching the numbers, RWA.xyz pintsonned that it was a wee bit less, at $158.5 billion, which remained an unprecedented record all the same, giving Ethereum a whopping 57% of the market game.

In the last revolution of this little blue marble, Worldcoin [WLD], that ambitious project of scanning eyeballs for digital trinkets, has decided to indulge in a rather boisterous 11% price increase. The derivatives market, that notoriously sensible corner of finance, is practically throwing money at it. Spot investors, bless their naive hearts, are joining the fray. Apparently, charts suggest a ‘free rally.’ Free, you say? As in, no strings attached? Ha!

So what happened? Well, Kinto raised a measly $1 million in debt to restore trading on their “modular exchange” after some hack back in July. The hack drained about 577 Ether (ETH) – that’s roughly $1.6 million, in case you’re keeping track. Not a good look, right?

The scriveners at Nansen declare that Tron, that… peculiar enterprise, shadows Solana’s numbers, exceeding 15.2 million souls engaged – a rather unsettling 11% increase. Bitcoin, the patriarch, remains stubbornly, almost pathologically, unexcitable, clinging to 10.6 million addresses, but with a nagging -4.6% decline. Ethereum, meanwhile, inches forward, a glacial 3.5% climb to 9 million addresses. Such incremental progress, one wonders, is barely noticeable. It’s as if a snail debates its route up a mountain.

According to Token Terminal (the folks who keep track of such things), August’s revenue was a mere $14.1 million, down from July’s $25.6 million. Ouch. 😬 And this all went down while ETH was rallying like a champ, up 240% since April and hitting an all-time high of $4,957 on August 24. Talk about mixed signals! 💔📈

Trouvé la flamme

3M $XRP acheté en 100ms sur Binance perps

This surge in wealth just so happens to coincide with MicroStrategy’s relentless Bitcoin buying spree, and, of course, Bitcoin’s price going absolutely bananas in 2025. With 636,505 BTC tucked away in his company’s vault, he’s now holding the record for the *most* extensive corporate crypto stash. Eat your heart out, other billionaires! 😏

With a graceful swipe of its digital tail, this wallet sent 10.266 million DOGE in one swift, unapologetic move from Binance’s hot wallet- a transaction worth a touch over $2.23 million. A small prelude before the grand show, however, included two more withdrawals: 100,000 DOGE and a rather peculiar 199.88 DOGE. The final grand total for the lucky recipient? A neat 10.367 million DOGE and a singular BNB- how quaint. Total value? A shade over $2.25 million. But, oh, what is this? A bit more than mere numbers, isn’t it?

The so-called ‘lean Ethereum team’ – a curious appellation, suggesting a rigorous austerity in their labors – has, with diligent effort, made progress toward scalability and resilience. A noble endeavor, one might say, though one also wonders if such concerns weren’t considered from the very outset. Still, it is good to see engineers applying themselves. It is reported that the esteemed Vitalik Buterin, one of the creators of this digital curiosity, has deemed their work “truly amazing,” a pronouncement that, while undoubtedly sincere, feels a touch… paternal. 😇

Also, ensure that the humor is subtle and in line with Austen’s wit. Maybe mock the critics with phrases like “a most lamentable performance” or “the most unflattering comparison.”