Five days ago, the US filed a civil complaint in the Northern District of Texas, a land where even the air smells of legal jargon and greed. The FBI, that noble band of digital knights, seized 20 BTC from a ransomware group called ‘Hors’—a name as poetic as a spreadsheet. 🕵️♂️
The company also intends to unveil a “Bitcoin Per Share” (BPS) metric, a poetic measure to track Bitcoin-denominated performance. 🎭
Thus does Algeria take its place among the dwindling ranks of crypto’s most ardent adversaries—China’s company being the pinnacle of such honor—while the rest of the world tiptoes toward regulation with the caution of a debutante at her first ball. 🎭
If you’re keeping score (which, let’s be honest, someone’s paid to do), the Austin-based firm expects a fresh bitcoin drop after closing its business combo with Cantor Equity Partners Inc.—a SPAC with a name only an investment banker’s mother could love. Sprinkle in some institutional investor cash announced since April, and they’re swimming in roughly $680 million in new coins. So, it’s raining bitcoin and everyone’s getting—well, except you—very, very rich. 🚀
Tron (TRX), now flirting with $0.3500, has risen by a cheeky 75% from its lowest point this year. Meanwhile, the broader crypto market retreats like a shy guest at a house party where everyone else is wearing monocles and discussing NFTs. Bravo, Tron. Bravo.
In a move that would make even the most seasoned crypto enthusiast raise an eyebrow, BTCS Inc. – the self-proclaimed “blockchain technology company” – has gone on a shopping spree. They’ve just scooped up a staggering 14,240 ETH, and the crypto world can’t help but wonder: is this the start of something even bigger? According to Coin Bureau, this recent acquisition has set tongues wagging all over social media, and who can blame them? When a company as bold as BTCS makes a move like this, it’s practically a headline waiting to happen.
Introducing “Pay with Crypto”—the payment solution that’s about to make your accountant weep. U.S. businesses can now accept payments in more than 100 cryptocurrencies. Because who doesn’t want to deal with a digital currency that sounds like a character from a sci-fi movie? 🚀
Bitcoin must take out resistance at $120,000 to trigger a rally to new all-time highs. Or else the market will cry. 😢
Meanwhile, some other SHIB-related account decided it was time for an explainer on why you, yes YOU, should help provide liquidity into the SHIB-BONE pool on ShibaSwap. You know, because nothing screams “fun” like explaining blockchain liquidity pools at 3 AM while eating cold pizza. 🍕
Grab a coffee, dear reader, and let us delve into the labyrinthine corridors of global finance, where the US is venturing into the murky waters of stablecoins, amidst a grandiose attempt at monetary engineering to weaken the dollar. Max Keiser, ever the sage of the digital realm, perceives Bitcoin playing a rather unconventional role in this drama.
