GBPJPY

Now, you might be wondering if “premium yield” means something exciting like a luxury yacht or just a fancy term for “you might find a dollar in your couch cushions.” Well, apparently, for accredited investors, it means you can earn up to an eye-popping 8% Annual Percentage Yield (APY) on your cash. Just to be clear, this is for those with a certain bank account balance-so if you need to check your couch cushions, you’re probably not invited to this party. 🛥️

But hold your horses! That ain’t all. Cleo, with all the foresight of a weather vane in a tornado, also went ahead and bought shares in Oracle right before it got picked to take the reins of TikTok’s algorithm here in the good ol’ US of A. Seems like he’s got a knack for buying just ‘afore the good news rolls in, doesn’t it? 😂

According to Bitwise CEO, this is *huge*. Like, skyscraper big! It could bring crypto to the mainstream – you know, the kind of mainstream where your neighbor’s grandma starts asking about Bitcoin while knitting her sweater. 🧶

Zac Prince, the former chief executive and co-founder of BlockFi Inc., returns to the digital asset stage as the head of Galaxy Digital’s new banking platform, Galaxy One. The ascent reads like a flourish in a drawing-room comedy: less than three years have passed since BlockFi’s bankruptcy, which followed the spectacular implosion of FTX, a spectacle that could teach even a ledger some melodrama.

A whisper from Felix Vanilla notes that you can gather USDH from the Hyperliquid spot orderbook, forge it in Native Markets, or open the door to lending and borrowing at once on Felix Vanilla. “It’s time to go native,” the chorus seemed to murmur, with the grin of a wink.

Stellar Lumens (XLM) mounted a quiet 3% ascent over roughly a day, stepping from $0.40 to $0.41 as institutional traders moved more than 71 million tokens-quite the little parade, if you listen to the market’s murmurs. 😂

For ONDO to continue its flirtation with bullishness, it needs to maintain its position above $0.98 and make a grand exit above $1.12. This would confirm that the DeFi wave is not just a passing breeze but a real, surging tidal wave. 🌊

Enthusiastically announced via an official communiqué on the platform formerly known as Twitter, this update signifies Jupiter’s audacious leap beyond the constraints of its mobile app, bringing, dare I say, civilization to the scattered tribes of crypto traders. “Our aspiration was to fashion an experience both artless and comprehensive – crafted to feel as breezy as a summer’s day for greenhorns yet robust enough for the battle-tested taxonomies of the professional brigade,” they proclaimed with a flourish.

By Shayan, with a wink and a quill.

Ah, yes, while the companies and investors wag their tails like eager puppies, the iron-clad rules and Herculean requirements seem to throw cold water on their fiery passions. Like a dragon well-guarded by bureaucratic knights, the path to this emerging crypto market is fraught with challenges. 🐉