Ah, mes amis, in this third-act revival of crypto’s eternal comedy, Ethereum burst forth as the prima donna, eclipsing poor Bitcoin as capital, that fickle director, diverted to altcoins, DeFi spectacles, and a parade of tokenized absurdities, per CoinGecko’s satirical report. 🎭
It’s Oct. 19, 2025, and Bitcoin’s been bouncing between $104,778 and “Wait, is this Monopoly money?” since the 12th. It’s down 3.8% this week, chilling at $108k like a nervous cat on a windowsill. Traders, buckle up: 2025’s crypto rodeo is brought to you by the letters F, U, and D. Here’s what not to miss.
If you’ve followed Saylor’s Sunday tradition, you’d know it’s always the same song. His posts, brimming with barely veiled hints about whether his company has snatched up more Bitcoin, never fail to get the crypto community’s gears grinding. This Sunday? No surprise, he drops yet another chart of those good ol’ orange dots-each one representing a Bitcoin buy since August 2020. But wait-this time, it’s the caption that really packs a punch.
Chain-snoopers estimate Satoshi’s 1.096 million BTC stash-hoarded during Bitcoin’s innocent years-peaked at $136 billion when the coin flirted with $126,000. Now, it’s merely a paltry $116 billion. Ah, the agony of unrealized gains-because nothing says “tragedy” like a digital wallet losing hypothetical millions. 📉
So, the Japan Financial Services Agency (FSA) is putting on its thinking cap and considering a major system overhaul. They want to let commercial banks dip their toes into the shiny pool of cryptocurrencies. Yes, you heard that right! They could actually hold Bitcoin and other digital assets for investment purposes because what says “reliable banking” better than holding something that can drop in value faster than a popsicle on a summer day? 🍦💔
On October 18, a Polymarket trader known as Tsybka shared a Discord message from developer Mustafa Aljadery. In the message, Aljadery confirmed that the advanced platform will debut before the end of the year. 🚀
This app, a veritable Swiss Army knife of cryptocurrency, marries onchain bitcoin, the Lightning Network, and Liquid support with non‑custodial atomic swaps (courtesy of Boltz, the unsung hero of this digital drama). Users may now flit between networks with the ease of a society matron switching between gossip topics. Features include BIP39 mnemonics (for the forgetful aristocrat), SegWit descriptor‑based accounts, coin selection (because one must always choose the finest), watch‑only imports, and the option to connect to a personal node-a must for those who prefer their technology as bespoke as their tailoring.
The campaign, backed by a $400,000 prize pool, is aimed at reinforcing Arbitrum’s role as gTrade’s primary ecosystem for deep liquidity and trading activity. While gTrade maintains a multi-chain presence, this initiative underscores its commitment to concentrating liquidity around Arbitrum, where it continues to see the highest volume and user engagement. 🧙♂️✨
Underneath that playful jibe, the real story is more sobering-Polymarket’s data suggests the near-term gamble isn’t quite as charming as an afternoon at the Ritz. Oh no, a 52% chance Bitcoin might tumble below $100K this very month-who knew the crypto world could be so dramatic? Our dear Ted Pillow has already declared that Bitcoin has famously lost its cozy $108,000 support, leaving just a thin thread between reinvigoration at $110K or sliding further into chaos. One wonders if we’ll see a bounce or simply more tears and tedium! 💔
Yet, lo! CryptoWzrd doth not stop there. With a dramatic gesture, he points out that both Chainlink and LINKBTC have ended their day with candles of bearish hue, a sign, perchance, of short-term frailty. This downward spiral, he notes, follows a period of consolidation, as traders, like greedy courtiers, take their profits after recent gains. “Fear not,” he reassures, “the market, like a fickle mistress, still holds promise of recovery.” 😏💔
