Bitcoin’s Sideways Snooze: Long-Term Holders Eyeing the Exit?

On-chain data from CryptoQuant reveals that long-term holders (LTHs) are currently sitting on an average unrealized profit of 215% above their cost basis. Historically, when these investors reach over 300% profit, they begin to gradually distribute their holdings back into the market. This places BTC in a zone of orderly profit-taking, not quite euphoria, but with a growing risk of a shift in behavior.

Crypto Tsunami: Longs Liquidated, Bulls Laugh Last? Don’t Miss This Wild Tale! 🐂💥

The chronicles of early 2025 shall be written in sweat, tears, and the scattered dreams of bulls. On the third of February, a staggering $1.88 billion in long positions met their doom; a figure so grand that Tolstoy himself might have thought it exaggerated were it not meticulously recorded by the digital scribes at Coinglass. Out of the swirling maelstrom, more than 729,000 positions perished in a single day—a number rivaling casualties in a particularly incompetent Napoleonic campaign. One imagines the traders gazing at their screens, expressions reminiscent of Anna Karenina upon learning of an unfavorable train timetable.

Crypto Market Goes Berserk!

Bitcoin, the king of the castle, is still the big cheese, holding 63.9% market share with a daily trading volume exceeding $45.3 billion. And let me tell you, that’s no small potatoes! 🥔 Despite modest gains of under 1% across multiple timeframes, Bitcoin’s continued climb signals strong investor confidence. Or maybe they’re just a bunch of crazy people throwing their money around like confetti! 🎉

Justin Sun’s Trump-tastic Crypto Adventure: $100M in Memecoins! 🤑💰

Now, you might be thinking, “Why on earth would anyone want to buy a memecoin named after the 45th President of the United States?” Well, apparently, the token hasn’t lacked high-profile backers, and Justin Sun is no exception. On the glorious day of July 9th, our dear friend Justin declared that he’d be purchasing a whopping $100 million worth of U.S. President Donald Trump’s memecoin through his various ventures.

Crypto Hackers Steal $42M, Because Who Needs Security?

According to PeckShield’s post on the social media platform X (because who uses Twitter anymore?), the hacker exploited the crypto exchange and sent $9 million of the stolen funds to the Ethereum (ETH) network from Arbitrum (ARB). Because, you know, one blockchain just isn’t enough. 🤑