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Word from the CryptoQuant campfire is that Evernorth’s XRP stash is nigh on $1 billion, a figure that’s got the bigwigs tipping their hats in respect. JA Maartunn, the town’s sharpest number-cruncher, reckons Evernorth’s saddlebags are bursting with 388,710,606.03 XRP, just a stone’s throw from their billion-dollar bonanza. 📈 With unrealized profits of $46 million in four days, it’s like they’ve struck oil in their own backyard. Their average buy-in at $2.44 per XRP? Maartunn says it’s the kind of number that could make or break the market’s wagon wheel.

Meanwhile, inflows into spot Ethereum ETFs have resumed, a sure sign that institutional investors are finally taking this market seriously-after years of ignoring it, of course. 🤷‍♂️💸

This is a technical analysis post by CoinDesk analyst and Chartered Market Technician Omkar Godbole. How comforting to know our fate is dictated by a man with a spreadsheet and a PhD in despair. 📊😢

According to Saylor, Bitcoin’s journey from speculation to legitimacy began with the approval of U.S. Bitcoin ETFs-a spectacle akin to Wall Street adopting a stray cat and suddenly calling it a “luxury accessory.” Pension funds, corporations, and asset managers now treat it as a reserve-grade store of value. But the real transformation, he insisted, is as subtle as a rhinestone in a landfill.

Lower rates and the cessation of QT might unleash a deluge of liquidity, a boon for risky whims like Bitcoin, as history-oh, that sly jokester-has shown.

“I think these 12 months have probably been the best 12 months in the history of the industry,” Saylor said, as if the industry isn’t just a bunch of people trying to make money while pretending they’re not. 🤷‍♂️ CNBC, ever the reliable source of truth, reported this. 📺

In a week that could have been plucked from the diary of a disillusioned poet, the great DOGE whales, those self-proclaimed arbiters of sagacity, offloaded a staggering 500 million coins. The air crackled with the scent of panic, or perhaps just the lingering perfume of ill-advised optimism. Ali Martinez, the oracle of on-chain data, noted via X that wallets brimming with 10-100 million DOGE had shed their burdens like autumn leaves-drastic, dramatic, and slightly theatrical.

Bitcoin and altcoins are doing the happy dance, but let’s not get carried away. Low interest rates = more liquidity, which = crypto getting its moment. Parabolic rally? More like a “wait, is this real?” moment. 🚀🤔

After weeks of dithering about like a lost tourist in Ankh-Morpork, SOL’s finally got its act together. Optimism’s in the air, thicker than a troll’s club.

Lo, the asset managers, those modern-day alchemists, have updated their filings, bestowing upon XRP the sacred names of GXRP and XRPZ. A ritual as old as time itself, yet cloaked in the garb of regulatory solemnity. And lo, Ripple, that titan of commerce, hath acquired GTreasury for a sum of one billion dollars, as if to say, “Behold, the corporate treasury market shall bow before us!” 🏦👑