XRP, that enigmatic creature, has donned the cloak of consolidation after a recent rollercoaster that sent it tumbling below $3. Once it soared to $3.65, a glittering peak in July, only to retreat to the shadowy realm of $2.8. The market murmurs: is this a prelude to a grand finale or a bureaucratic snafu? 😂
Ah, the zettahash-a word that rolls off the tongue like a sledgehammer through silk. Bitcoin’s hashrate, that relentless hum of digital toil, now roars at a pace of one sextillion hashes per second. One sextillion! A number so large it makes the oceans seem like puddles and the stars mere specks of dust. Presently, the seven-day simple moving average (SMA) places it between 998 and 1,000 exahashes per second, teetering on the edge of a single zettahash. One ZH/s, my dear reader, is a 1 followed by 21 zeros-a number so absurd it could only be the brainchild of a mathematician with too much time on his hands. 🤯
For those playing the home game, this isn’t just a sleepy new milestone. CryptoQuant, who seem to spend their days staring at blockchain metrics like they’re waiting for tea to boil, kindly informed us this stash tosses last year’s high-water mark of $59 billion (achieved in the halcyon days of February 2022, when BUSD was still strutting around) straight into the digital dustbin. Just to spice things up, reserves have pulled a dramatic Houdini, more than doubling since their October 2023 nap, thanks to a $28 billion bump after Donald Trump’s election win. Who knew crypto markets cared about politics? Turns out, they do-especially when they can ride the news like a bored teenager commandeering a shopping trolley.
Quant à notre cher Bitcoin, le roi des crypto-monnaies, il trébucha de 1,15% pour s’établir à 108 455 dollars, comme un vieux comédien sur le déclin, avec un volume de 70,6 milliards, prouvant que même le sommet ne peut échapper à sa propre chute.
And yet, USDT’s market cap still has a hefty $168 billion basking in the spotlight-because size does matter, apparently. Meanwhile, Circle’s USDC is not slacking off with its $70.37 billion. Big coins, big dreams, and apparently even bigger numbers-just a little less control over the market than before.
Indeed, the nation clutches 6,274 BTC, a trove worth $678 million, a sum that might stir the hearts of even the most stoic economists. At this hour, one BTC trades at a mere $108,655.94, a figure that has dipped by 1.14%-a modest wobble, yet enough to rattle the nerves of those who dare to gamble on the whims of the market. 🤯
Is this the end of the BTC bull cycle? Or just a midlife crisis? A crypto analyst on X (formerly Twitter) has decided to throw a party and predict Bitcoin will hit $256k by 2025. Because nothing says “trust me” like a number that makes your calculator cry 💸.
Ah, Dogecoin [DOGE], the crypto world’s most charming underdog, has been languishing in the shadow of its more illustrious cousins. Why? Lack of institutional backing, of course! But fear not-now the tides shift, and the sharks are circling with pitchforks (and spreadsheets).
According to the ever-reliable Bitcoinist, one Mr. Anas Hamza and his merry band of plaintiffs marched into the US District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia brandishing accusations that Strategy Inc., together with its illustrious co-founder Michael J. Saylor, CEO Phong Le, and CFO Andrew Kang, were about as clear as mud when it came to the financial perils of shoveling bitcoin into their coffers. The chaps from Pomerantz LLP pegged their complaint on a stew of federal securities laws, Sections 10(b) and 20(a), with Rule 10b-5 thrown in to spice things up, alleging that our crypto champions played down the risks and cloaked the truth on profits, as one might hide one’s last cigar from a prying nosy parker. 🚬🤫
If approved (and let’s face it, approval feels like asking your ex for a second chance), the DOT fund will trade on Nasdaq under its own ticker-because why not confuse everyone further? Meanwhile, ADA will debut on NYSE Arca as GADA. Both are passive ETFs, meaning they’ll hold crypto directly in Coinbase custody while tracking indexes created by CoinDesk Indices. Passive investing? Sounds like my approach to cleaning the house. 🛌
