Back in April 2025, these London lads announced their grand design to treat Bitcoin like it’s the crown jewel of their treasury. 🏰💎 They reckon it’s the best hedge against the slow, sad slide of fiat currency-you know, that stuff we call “money” when we’re not busy watching it depreciate faster than a politician’s promises. 📉
These acquisitions, one might surmise, would grant Mastercard a most convenient onchain payments stack, enabling it to leap from pilot to production with the grace of a well-timed waltz. 🕺
The price of DOGE has taken a dive, plummeting 4.63% in the last 24 hours. A true testament to the power of… well, nothing, really. 🐕💸
SUI, the token that promised to revolutionize blockchain, now looks like a confused toddler in a cryptocurrency maze. It plummeted 9.2% to $2.02, with trading volume spiking like a caffeinated squirrel. 🐿️
XRP price hit a sad $2.27, marking a 37% drop from its peak earlier this year. In the past seven days, it dropped almost 10%. Can we get a moment of silence for this poor coin? The crash has dragged its market cap down to a measly $137 billion.
Lo! On Monday, this digital alchemist proclaimed its ill-advised ambitious U.S. listing scheme. A reverse merger, you ask? Why endure the indignity of an IPO when one might simply usurp an existing shell company? Currency Group’s shareholders shall soon find themselves as relevant as a mime in a hurricane. Closing date: 2026. Because patience is a virtue, and speculation a sport! 💸
Launched in December 2024, RLUSD isn’t just a flash in the pan-it’s a firework in a gas station. Its year-to-date growth? A dizzying 1,278%. If you blinked, you missed it. 😬
Blockchain data reveals that the thief wasn’t your average amateur. Oh no, this was someone who planned like a chess master, funding their account with small, sneaky 0.1 Ether (ETH) deposits using the notorious privacy mixer Tornado Cash. It was like they were taking a meticulous little walk through a garden of crypto, planting tiny seeds to grow a vast fortune. How cute-and how terrifying. 🙄
Recently, David Sacks, now Trump’s “Crypto & AI Czar,” declared that “crypto is the industry of the future.” A prophecy as fleeting as a candle in a hurricane. 🌪️
Last week, dear reader, Pi Network, that bold explorer of digital frontiers, took a step-no, a leap-into the mysterious realm of artificial intelligence. Partnering with OpenMind, a true craze in this peculiar age of ours, they aim to marry the blockchain’s unyielding strength with AI’s uncharted potential. One might muse whether this union is a grand scheme or just the crypto equivalent of a nobleman’s gamble at Cards… either way, the fireworks are quite the spectacle, though the exact size of the treasure chests remains shrouded in secrecy – a perfect whisper of intrigue.
