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Enter the mysterious figure of Darkfost, a sage analyst who spins tales of ancient Bitcoin whales rising from their decadent slumbers. Among them, one particular leviathan-one might say a beruhmter (famous) miner-choreographs a curious dance on the Hyperliquid stage, swapping BTC for ETH like a nostalgic lord trading old land for younger, flashier estates. Our dear miner’s identity, hinted at with the subtlety of a well-aimed telegram, is linked to the Bixin platform-last seen mining coal back in 2019, now seemingly dabbling in portfolio diversification. One might wonder, is this a wise old mariner shifting his sails, or a pontiff plotting the next great market upheaval?

But behold! Compared to the colossal fortunes sloshing about from mighty institutions and cavernous treasury vaults, this sale is but a “small ripple”-a bubble in a barrel of seawater. All the talk now revolves around the sacred $4,200-$4,500 range, where ETH is either destined to soar into the stratosphere or dip into the abyss for a quick nap.

Well, darlings, gather ’round for today’s kaleidoscope of chaos in the financial circus! CoinDesk’s daily spectacle reveals the grand performance of our beloved CoinDesk 20 – where the stars shine brighter and the also-rans pretend to matter.

Through a partnership with the enigmatic fintech firm Superstate, Galaxy’s Class A common stock, GLXY, is now available as digital tokens on the Solana blockchain. A marvel of modern ingenuity, where paper certificates are replaced by cryptographic keys, and the concept of “ownership” is redefined by the whims of decentralized ledgers. One can only imagine the thrill of trading shares while the sun sleeps, a 24/7 market for those who have never known the luxury of rest.

BingX, the crypto exchange that’s basically the Liz Lemon of Web3 AI (smart, sassy, and always ahead of the curve), is throwing a Listing Carnival that’s more exciting than a Bossypants audiobook. And guess what? You could snag a piece of the 900K $WLFI pie! 🥧✨

Enter Bitcoin Hyper ($HYPER), the project that’s basically Bitcoin’s upgrade button if the blockchain world had a “reinstall OS” option. Picture this: It takes Bitcoin’s clunky, gas-guzzling engine and swaps it for a Tesla Roadster. Suddenly, you’re minting wrapped Bitcoin on a Solana-powered express lane, using it for DeFi shenanigans and NFTs like you’re in a crypto-themed *Mission: Impossible* spinoff. 🚀

According to DNB’s official press release (which they probably sent with a sigh), the company-officially known as Aux Cayes Fintech Co.-was caught red-handed between July 2023 and August 2024. But don’t worry, the fines are just for the “old” days, before the mighty MiCA crypto regulations came into play. Phew! 😅

Kite is basically building the “agentic web,” which sounds suspiciously like the web finally deciding to grow a personality and some serious trust issues. Today, they dropped Kite AIR – a fancy name for a nerdy cocktail of programmable agent identities, native stablecoin payments (because who trusts regular money nowadays?), and policies that keep your internet agents behaving. Think components like Agent Passport and an Agent App Store. Yes, apps for apps, because inception is now tech’s favorite pastime.

Whale Alert, that vigilant sentinel of the digital seas, cries out: “From the depths of an unknown wallet, a leviathan rises, bearing XRP to Coinbase’s shores!” 🚨🐋

In 2010, Bitcoin was worth a few cents. One year later, it hit $20. In six years, it was $17,000, and now it’s sitting at over $100K, after hitting an ATH of $123K in July. A triumph of modern finance, or a folly of the ages? Only time shall tell. 🕰️