The bill even tries to be “flexible” by not taxing crypto-to-crypto trades. Because nothing says “progressive” like letting people dodge taxes by swapping Bitcoin for Dogecoin. 🤡 Coincidence? I think not.
On the hallowed grounds of X (formerly Twitter), Syndicate’s corporate oracle announced SYND’s Ethereum-based arrival, allocating 501.2 million tokens to the “community”-a term so vague it could describe a group of raccoons sharing a pizza. This does not include the 2% airdropped on August 15, a digital scavenger hunt for appchain enthusiasts and developers who forgot what “real life” looks like. 🐉
According to some bright-eyed report by Reuters, the company, whimsically called Treasury (no relation to the piggy bank on your desk), is planning to hop onto the Amsterdam stock exchange through something called a reverse merger-think of it as a corporate magic trick where one company sneaks into another to get listed faster and with less fuss. They’re doing this with Dutch investment firm MKB Nedsense-imagine a merger where no one actually has to buy or sell anything, and everyone just smiles quietly. 😊
As NFTs continue their metamorphosis from overpriced JPEGs to-*gasp*-actual tools for commerce, the legal world is scrambling to keep up like a butler chasing a runaway champagne cork. And just when you thought it couldn’t get more absurd, along comes generative AI, throwing copyright law into a blender and hitting “frappé.” 🎨🤖
Cue dramatic music. Crypto analyst Zach Rector (not to be confused with Rexor the Conqueror) told Paul Barron in an interview that this Clarity Act could be the Robin Hood moment XRP’s been waiting for. Big institutions have been sitting on trillions like Scrooge McDuck, too scared to dive into crypto because, well, the rules were messier than my grandma’s attic. 😅
But how, you ask? 🤔 Through the forging of alliances with three formidable African entities: Chipper Cash, the payments app that whispers promises of convenience; VALR, the cryptocurrency exchange that dances with digital currencies; and Yellow Card, the payments company that paints the financial canvas with efficiency. 🎨
In the shadow of despair, when Bitcoin [BTC] plummeted to $107,270, it clawed its way back to $111,787, a feeble echo of hope against the abyss.
Our dear Shiba Inu finds itself at a crossroads, much like a socialite choosing between two equally dreadful suitors. Trading at a positively pedestrian $0.0000123, it’s trapped in a triangle tighter than a Victorian corset. The bears are circling like disapproving aunts at a garden party.
Riot Platforms, with a flair for the dramatic, mined a whopping 477 BTC in August, a 48% leap from the meager 322 BTC they managed to scrape together in the same month last year. They sold 450 BTC for a staggering net proceeds of $51.8 billion, which, if true, might just make them the most profitable company in the universe. 🌌 Now, they proudly hold 19,309 BTC, a 92.7% increase over the past 12 months. Who knew mining could be so lucrative? 💰
In a dramatic 48 hours, mighty whales have swooped down and bought a staggering 1.25 million LINK, as if to say, “We’re in it for the long haul-don’t bother trying to scare us off!” Meanwhile, exchange outflows hit $1.84 million-because nothing screams confidence like disappearing tokens. It’s like playing hide and seek with your wallet, and the tokens are winning. 😅
