In this age of digital delirium, where even socks have NFTs, Nebraska dares to waltz with innovation. The Department of Banking and Finance, with the subtlety of a marching band, announced on Nov. 12 that Telcoin Digital Asset Bank may now peddle its wares under the state’s watchful eye. One might say it’s the financial equivalent of serving caviar on a cornhusk platter.
BitGo, BiT Global, and LayerZero.
The “Bipartisan Market Structure Draft” is basically a legal game of “Simon Says” for regulators: CFTC, SEC, and everyone’s favorite – nobody. Proponents claim this will “remove years of legal uncertainty” – which is just a fancy way of saying, “Let’s all stop pretending we know what we’re doing!” 🤷♂️
Imagine a universe where cash is king, but the king wears a tie and sips lukewarm tea. This fund, launched on November 13, is BNY’s answer to the question: “What if we took the soul of a money market fund and stuffed it into the body of a stablecoin reserve?” The result? A vehicle for institutions to park their digital-asset liquidity while nodding politely at regulators. Anchorage Digital, the nation’s first federally chartered crypto bank, threw in some initial capital, presumably because they had nothing better to do than play financial Jenga. 🏦🧱
Michael Saylor, executive chairman and co-founder of Strategy, said Bitcoin (BTC) will overtake gold’s market cap by 2035. In an interview with Yahoo Finance, Saylor called that year the “0.99 year,” referring to the time when 99% of all Bitcoin would have been mined. He added that the last 1% of Bitcoin will be released over the next 100 years. Aye, because nothing says “scarcity” like waiting a century for a coin. 🕰️
Part of the W group ecosystem, WhiteBIT serves a staggering 35 million users globally, with the exchange itself boasting over 8 million users. 🌐 It offers a veritable smorgasbord of services, from buying and selling to trading cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin and Ethereum. 🤑 But fear not, dear reader, for WhiteBIT is not merely a one-trick pony; it provides a range of trading options, including spot, margin, and futures trading with leverage. 🦄
Trading at $210, MSTR’s back to levels not seen since the days when Donald Trump was still just a bloke on telly. Shares are down 30% year-to-date and 36% year-over-year, though they’re still miles ahead since Michael Saylor and his chums went all-in on bitcoin in August 2020. 🤑
In a move that can only be described as “curiously cautious,” the CNB made it clear that it has zero intention of adding Bitcoin or any other digital currency to its prestigious international reserves. The real motive, it seems, is to prepare for a world where digital currencies are not just a side note in history books, but a daily reality. 🌍
It’s (finally!) happening – Brad Garlinghouse (@bgarlinghouse) November 13, 2025
Dogecoin was like, “Hold my beer.” It stayed strong in the long run, despite a short-term outlook that looked like it had just come out of a bad breakup. 🥴