A new report reveals that small-cap executives are playing a high-stakes game of “crypto or bust,” funding digital-asset treasuries with in-kind contributions instead of cold, hard cash. It’s a gamble that could make a casino blush, and retail investors are the ones left holding the bag-literally.
In the grand theater of finance, the SEC has unveiled a new act: a guiding hand (or a whip) to hasten the birth of crypto ETFs. Bitwise’s XRP offering, like a peacock strutting through a chicken coop, now claims the spotlight. Whether this is progress or a farce only time will tell, but the stage is set for a spectacle.
World Liberty Financial (WLFI) and AB Chain have embarked on a partnership so audacious, it makes one wonder if they’ve finally cracked the code to universal harmony-or at least near-instant transactions. By anchoring USD1 to AB Chain, they claim to elevate stablecoin payments to an art form, though one suspects the real masterpiece is the spreadsheet of fees hidden in fine print.
Hill began by situating Alderney in a geopolitical tangle only a bureaucrat could love: “We’re a Channel Island, semi-independent, part of the Bailiwick of Guernsey, 8 miles from France, and yet… British. It’s like a bureaucratic Russian nesting doll!” He paused, as if expecting the audience to unravel the paradox with applause.
According to Brian Rudick, Chief Strategy Officer at Upexi, the next wave of corporate finance will unfold on-chain as companies increasingly adopt the technology. Because nothing says “innovation” like replacing your accountant with a blockchain. 🤡
The crypto market woke up on the wrong side of the blockchain today. Bitcoin dipped below $97,000 like it was trying to find its car keys in the dark. It’s now hovering around $97,375, down over 4% in the last 24 hours. Ouch. 😬 Traders lost over $1 billion in liquidations overnight, mostly long positions getting wiped out faster than a bad Tinder date. 💔
Of course, the experts are watching with bated breath. Will this price plummet continue, or will it stage a miraculous recovery? Spoiler alert: no one really knows. But who cares when drama like this is unfolding?
In a press release, Bitfarms, that paragon of Bitcoin mining, has revealed plans to convert one of its facilities to support High-Performance Computing (HPC)/Artificial Intelligence (AI) workloads. A decision as thrilling as a waltz with a cactus. 🌵
Grayscale Investments, the crypto equivalent of a weathered tractor, has taken a wobbly step toward going public by filing for its first-ever IPO on the NYSE. A noble goal, sure, but the numbers are as shaky as a leaf in a hurricane. 🌬️
According to the grand daily prophecy-or, more accurately, ARK’s trading disclosure-the fund managers managing to keep a straight face went on what could only be described as a shopping spree across three exchange-traded funds (ETFs). Here’s what they scooped up on November 14, as if trying to turn regret into profit: