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The culprits, a pair of fellows aged 32 and 33 – one suspects their mothers are deeply embarrassed – were engaged in a clandestine operation to power a bitcoin mining enterprise. The poor institutions in question were rendered with electricity bills inflated to the tune of US$1,153 (HK$9,000). A most significant sum, one might observe, which could presumably have gone towards, oh, I don’t know… actual care? 🤔 The detection of the swindle, naturally, came about not through brilliant police work, but because the internet slowed to a crawl – a tragedy in this modern age – and the utility bills started to resemble something from a particularly profligate sheikh’s accounts.

The Solana [SOL] scene has been buzzing because two massive whale transfers-almost $214 million in total-decided to ghost Coinbase Institutional and vanish into unknown wallets. Spooky? Maybe. Smart? Definitely.

“Diella is the first cabinet member who isn’t physically present, but is virtually created by AI,” announced Albania’s Prime Minister Edi Rama at the Socialist Party shindig. And guess what? It’s supposed to keep Albania free of corruption or something. Like, big news. 🎉

Fast forward to September 8, and chaos had taken on a life of its own, turning peaceful demonstrations into a scene reminiscent of a particularly rowdy family reunion-complete with ransacked administrative buildings and fires that would put a dragon to shame. The capital city saw its own version of a pantomime, as Parliament was stormed with the enthusiasm usually reserved for the arrival of a much-anticipated dessert platter.

Bitcoin [BTC], ever the drama queen, posted a modest gain of 1.43% in the past day, inching back up to $113,890. But let’s be real-it’s still about as far from its all-time high as I am from being cast in a Marvel movie. At least $10,000 away, folks. Oof.

The question hangs heavy, like a chandelier in a storm. Can XRP pierce the $3 veil and dare to dream of $5, or will the barrier laugh and send it sprawling? Traders, those modern-day oracles, know this moment will echo through the annals of crypto lore. 🔮

Bitcoin, the old guard of the crypto realm, has long been the king of the liquidity castle. But as it teeters near its record highs, investors are doing the crypto two-step, waltzing over to altcoins. And who’s the belle of the ball? Why, Ethereum, of course! As of September 11, it’s leading the spot trading volume waltz, a feat it hasn’t managed in seven long years. Time to dust off those dancing shoes, Ethereum! 💼💃

This monumental price jump, part of its pre-launch phase (which, let’s be honest, sounds like a dog waiting for its walk), began on April 1. No joke. The next leap? A jaw-dropping $0.00020568. Mark your calendars, folks. History is being made. 📈

Let’s rewind briefly: Bitcoin soared to an all-time high of $124,500 recently (cue fireworks emoji 🎆), only to slip back down by over 8%. And you thought your last breakup was dramatic. Analysts like Axel Adler have chimed in, pointing out that we’re in a particularly fragile moment where even a tiny dip could send short-term traders spiraling into panic mode faster than you can say “sell button.”

Now, throw in some data from top analyst Darkfost, and things get even more interesting. According to him, the 7-day average of BTC outflows from miners is at an all-time low. This means miners are moving fewer coins out of their reserves, which could either mean they’re getting ready to sell, or they’re just really good at hiding their stash. But hey, who knows? Maybe they’re just reorganizing their digital piggy banks. 🐷