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Well, I’ll be jiggered! Crypto’s 2025 is ending on a note as unexpected as Aunt Agatha’s sudden interest in jazz. 🎷

The origin of this prophecy is a two-week tableau, a veritable canvas painted with the curious geometry Ali Martinez describes as a “right-angled ascending triangle.” Picture it as a top line softly climbing upward while the foundation stubbornly refuses to budge. Should that base hold, the tokens could quite unexpectedly leap into territories heretofore reserved for drunken fantasy or the realm of reckless optimism.

In a missive shared upon the platform X, Martinez reveals that the monthly MACD for Bitcoin has turned its face away from the light. This indicator, a twin-lined sentinel of market sentiment, has crossed its paths in a manner most ominous. The MACD line, once a beacon of bullish fervor, now languishes beneath its signal line counterpart, a clear sign of bearish dominion. 📉

Remember that time he tweeted about Metamask like it was a personal vendetta? Well, that was just the appetizer. Now, he’s serving up a main course of hubris, claiming he’s not just a developer but a revolutionary, a man who’s “rebuilt Wall Street” on a blockchain. 🏦✨ Yes, you heard that right. Wall Street. On a blockchain. Because nothing says financial revolution like a network that moves slower than a tortoise in quicksand. 🐢

Crypto’s nutcracker – Bitcoin – danced moderately at $88,590, inching up 1.6%, while Ethereum, ever the stubborn partner, leaped 2.1% to $2,942. XRP, like a high diving athlete, soared 8% to land at $2.24. Meanwhile, Solana sprang 4.5% to reach $138. Sui, Ethena, and Kaspa were particularly mischievous, flashing double-digit gains as they chased the spotlight! 🌟

So, Franklin Templeton launched its XRP exchange-traded fund, the Franklin XRP Trust, on NYSE Arca on Monday, giving U.S. investors a regulated way to dabble in the XRP token. It’s like they finally realized the crypto party was happening without them and decided to show up fashionably late. Better late than never, I suppose. 🕺

Revolut, started back in ’15 – not even long enough to properly age a good whiskey – is now movin’ money around the globe on their little digital platform. They do bankin’, payin’, investin’, and messin’ with those digital tokens. They claim their income went up something fierce- a 72% jump to four billion smackers, and a profit jump of 149% to 1.4 billion. Enough to make a fella dizzy, it is.

On November 24, 2025, Kraken, that enigmatic squid of the crypto seas, flung a colossal 50,674,497 XRP (worth a cool $105 million) into the abyss of an unidentified wallet. The crypto circle, ever hungry for drama, feasted on the news like vultures on a fresh carcass. 🦑💸

And yet, in this theater of despair, a curious spectacle unfolds. While the masses flee, Tom Lee’s Bitmine strides boldly onto the stage, its pockets lined with $82.1 million, scooping up 28,625 ETH like a peasant gathering mushrooms after the rain. Oh, the irony! As retail investors wring their hands and mutter dark prophecies, the whales feast on their tears, their conviction as unshakable as a Russian winter. Bitmine, that shrewd operator, sees not a dying star but a diamond in the rough, a long-term bargain hidden beneath the rubble of panic.

But wait, there’s more! According to a shiny new report from CryptoOnchain via CryptoQuant, a staggering 63,000 BTC has recently vacated the cozy, long-term wallets of “HODLers” (those are the people who, presumably, laugh in the face of market fluctuations). These BTCs are now in the hands of short-term traders – or as we like to call them, the “I just learned about Bitcoin yesterday” crowd. A chart from CryptoOnchain shows a massive red bar, signaling that long-term holders are suddenly feeling the urge to cash out. So much for “HODLing” for life!